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Search information page left open for hours, closed down minutes before required


A page of useful and pertinent information left open all day on a laptop, which was finally closed down when it became clear it wasn't needed, has become vitally important just afterwards, it has been confirmed.


A mere 2 minutes and 48 seconds after closing the tab, that information suddenly became of huge value. For luck's sake.



Sources have revealed that the page in question, which is now proving somewhat of a bugger to find and reopen, provided a detailed explanation of the differences between Murphy's Law and Sod's Law.


Valentine’s Day relationship test subverted by big business



According to social media, you can find out if your partner really loves you by suggesting that they should peel an orange for you. If they are prepared to undertake this small act of kindness for you, then they are indeed a keeper.


However, big business has moved in to undermine the test, as up-market stores are now selling pre-peeling oranges, satsumas, kumquats and even grapes. And to minimise the effort required even further, you can have them delivered to your house in under 30 minutes.


So, if you feel the need to test your partner in this way, you should make sure that they haven’t been cheating on you with the internet.


Experts say that it may be better to address the issue more directly. For example, by asking your partner if they can lend you fifty quid.


Area lonely man comforted by fact he is tracked by cookies at Christmas



Area man, Alan Roades, 57, facing another lonely Christmas has told us that he is comforted by the fact that leading brands and services are “really looking out for him and his perceived needs”.


“Just a few minutes ago I was invited to come along and see the Coca Cola lorry in Cardiff. A lovely gesture!” Said Mr Roades, “I mean completely impractical, I’m in Peterborough, but it’s a lovely thought. Also, M&M Direct wished me a very Happy Christmas and enquired as to whether I was low of Lonsdale branded boxer shorts. As it happens, I am. So yet again, looking out for me.”


He also went onto to tell us a heartwarming tale of amazon checking daily as to whether he needed a new mattress even though he had bought one 4 months ago. “Clearly they’re worried about my comfort, which is a huge bonus for me, knowing somewhere out there an algorithm has really taken the time to get to know me.”


Of course, like all great friendships, the algorithms don’t always get it right as Mr Roades told us he wasn’t in the market for Anal Beads and Masonic Ritual supplies and has no idea why they popped up in his email inbox!



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