Another massive compo payout for the ill-informed and easily manipulated

In a further blow for all the people who read the small print, they will miss out yet again on free money.

The otherwise pristine reputation of car salesman has been tarnished by a court judgement on car finance 'secret' commission payments. Anyone who meticulously sourced their own finance and didn’t just nod and sign when buying a car may miss out on a wad of compensation spondoolicks.

Reading a carefully worded statement, a representative of all the people who are cautious and diligent when undertaking large financial transactions said: 'Dammit, not again!'

The PPI scandal (Payment Protection Insurance), not the PPE scandal (Personal Protective Equipment), was a massive score for anyone who didn't decline the blatant needless extra costs that were greedily added by banks. Compensation for PPI mis-selling was a major act of justice that prevented banks from committing fraud for several weeks.

Although not as complicated as another classic bank mis-selling technique known as the Interest Rate Swap switcheroo, which at least made the effort of being deliberately confusing, this cheeky manoeuvre on car finance was as basic as just hiding the commission details.

A nodding fool exclaimed, 'Yes Boieee! I am a financial genius and will learn nothing!'

Photo by Stockcake: chequebook-illustration-art_557595_195734

Man wins damages from shopping centre

Colin Fuddy, 54, from Tring, has won £90k damages from the Shady Trees Designer Outlet, an out-of-town retail shopping experience.  The case is a landmark in British legal history, and looks likely to change the face of shopping centres across the country.

The judge awarded damages after Colin proved that the Outlet had a damaging effect on men. Colin cited evidence from academic research showing that a man’s life is shortened by 7 minutes and 4 seconds for every hour spent in a shopping centre. 

Why is this 'retail experience' boring?   It is because the vast majority of the shops in the Outlet sell women's dresses, frocks, shoes, sandals, high heels, perfume, jewellery, dresses, diet pills, health food and dresses, and frocks. The only men's clothing is targeted at the under-25s and those who aspire to be under 25 again. Replica football shirts in sizes 2XL and above are never in stock.

The newsagent at Shady Trees closed years ago, so that bored men can no longer buy madly overpriced felt tip pens, or read magazines without having to buy them.  The gadget shops have closed and moved online.  The food outlets only serve girlie coffees and cakes, and tea is only available in tiny cups.  A man size helping of tea therefore requires the purchase of four tiny drinks at a total cost of £15.80. And the only place you can drink your take-away tea is next to the haven of calm and relaxation that is the toddlers ball pit.

Even the toilets are stressful. The male toilets only have two urinals, so you often have to stand right next to someone else and do relaxation exercises before you can let go.

So there is nothing for men to do while their wives and daughters shop. Women can effortlessly spend all day in the mall, living their best lives and having a great time.  For the accompanying men, there is no telling how long the shopping trip will last, and there is always the risk of an all-nighter, after a shopping centre lock-in.   Any men foolish enough to get involved in a trip to Shady Trees can, at best, look forward to paying for an expensive lunch, in a chain restaurant like Frankie and Jerry's, or the No.1 Authentic Bondi Beach Pizza Company.

Colin says that shopping centres must, in future, have regard to men's mental health and well-being and must make reasonable adjustments for men, in order to avoid further legal claims.  

Colin plans to spend his damages on his N-gauge model railway, and football memorabilia.

Picture credit: Wix AI

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