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There was some confusion this week after journalists claimed that this year’s Commonwealth Games have really put Birmingham on the map. Literal minded Reading resident Elsie Glovebox popped to check the Reader’s Digest AA Book Of The Road and found Birmingham was there, as she’d remembered it was, having looked at it many years ago when she and husband Stanley had used it when first visiting Stan’s sister Maureen who lives in King’s Heath.
Maureen was asked to comment and said Birmingham always appears on the weather map and incidentally, she’s delighted that King’s Heath is now a gay village, and wasn’t that Tony Iommi good on the opening ceremony, she hopes to see a bit more of him in the closing ceremony.
photo: https://pixabay.com/users/beansandsausages-15282139/
The Sorry-about-all-that-Empire-business (still, we can laugh about it now - right guys? Guys?) Games are poised to adopt some new demonstration sports for Birmingham 2022 including:
Spaghetti Junction - individual and relay races through the notorious motorway intersection. Points will be deducted for accidentally entering Wolverhampton. Reaching West Bromwich will result in automatic disqualification.
Match the member of the Royal Family with the correct sexual practice - a timed event involving imagination, the ability to suppress disgust and avoid tabloid censorship. Competitors should bring their own pegs.
Where's Liz Truss - a variant on Where's Wally where Liz Truss is a wally and competitors have to find her and deliver her to be interviewed by Andrew Neil.
One organiser noted 'It's no weirder than having crown green bowls.'
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