Ho ho... NO!

Beverage giant, Coca Cola, has been slammed by a hapless Hertfordshire small businessman over a UK version of its Christmas advert featuring a convoy of twenty-five articulated lorries making a seasonal delivery of its iconic brand.

Trevor Oldroyd, owner of Trev's Minimarket in Watford said: 'It was lovely at first when I was chosen for the new ad. When the film crew set up all the Christmas lights and decorations outside the shop it looked really fantastic.

’Especially when the the snow machine was switched on, but when the choir started singing "holidays are coming, holidays are coming" and those lorries arrived and offloaded four hundred pallets of Coke it was total chaos. The cops had to close the road, and the council shut down my shop.

'I've now been issued with a summons for causing an illegal obstruction and breach of the peace. The cost of it all is going to put me out of business. Merry Christmas, Coca Cola? Merry Christmas my fucking arse.'

Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

Gove quits, but this is not a reference to cocaine

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Elf and safety is ho-ho-hopeless as Rudolph makes workplace bullying claim

At a press conference, a lawyer for Rudolph, aka The Red Nosed Reindeer said 'My client has such a shiny nose, you might even say it glows, so he's waived his right to anonymity. Rudolph has suffered from textbook bullying. All of the other reindeer - the Lapland 8 - made fun of him and called him names. They also excluded my client from reindeer games.'  

'Santa did give Rudolph a promotion to "Sleigh Team Leader", but this seems like an attempt to buy my client's silence... although in fairness, it was one foggy Christmas night.'

'In terms of compensation, we think Santa's Coca-Cola money should keep Rudolph in carrots. He should never have to guide a sleigh around the world at unsafe speeds in the icy depths of December, ever again.' 

Photo by Osman Rana on Unsplash