Clacton pub removes "MPs not welcome" sign

A pub in Clacton appears to have led the wave of pubs that are refusing to serve MPs.  Most of the recent pubs have specified Labour MPs, but some can't spell Labour so have left it a bit more generic. 

Most landlords quietly admit they wouldn't recognise their MP if he or she walked in anyway as the last election was over a year ago and they weren't in when the prospective candidates knocked on their front door.

It transpires that the initiative started in Clacton, nearly eighteen months ago.  The landlord hasn't changed his point of view but as nobody has seen their MP anywhere in Clacton since the election it seemed a waste of window space.

image from google gemini

Reform Ltd to encourage Grift Aid

Subscribers to the hate outlet store that doubles as one of Nigel Farage's pensions have decided that MBHA (Making Britain Hate Again) is essentially a charity, not a political movement.

'Sure, we have political leanings,' said a spokesman for Reform Ltd today, 'but we clearly don't take that part seriously.  Check out Nigel's surgeries in Clacton, for example.  Or his appearances in Parliament.  We exist to ensure Nigel has enough money to put food on the table - his table , definitely not your average or sub-average Reform voter's table - and to ensure he can retire whenever the situation looks like he might have to work for a living.

'We're looking at changing the registration for Reform to achieve charity status - with one beneficiary.  Our Nige, may he rest in tax haven.

'So, when you renew your Reform membership, if you are a UK tax payer (major donors can ignore this bit, obvs), please tick the Grift Aid box and we'll ensure that the taxpayer adds 25% to your donation.

image from pixabay

Reform to start their own Estate Agency

In what is thought to be a Parliamentary first, Reform PLC has decided to branch out into estate agency work - sourcing, selling and buying properties across the UK.  Well, the pretty bits of the UK and also in Clacton.

'We've branched into selling football shirts, flags and mugs...,' said a spokesman, adding, '...mugs buy them.  And pay us £25 to join a limited company.

'It turns out we've acquired a certain amount of experience in the housing market - our glorious leader has six properties, er, well five properties, well five-ish properties and knows his way around the legal potholes in buying houses.

'He doesn't know about the potholes in Clacton, before you ask,' he added.

'He also knows how to ensure cashflow in a business, or more exactly how to flow cash.  He knows that most tax inspectors are dog-sh!t at their job.

'He doesn't know about the dog-sh!t problems in Clacton, either,' he admitted.

'If you're selling a property then he'll attend to it - unless it means attending in Parliament or his Clacton constituency surgery,' he said.

Image:https://pixabay.com/users/tierramallorca-13743214/

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