People all over the country have claimed that they were all cured of tinnitus simultaneously, on December 26th, the day after Christmas. The ringing sounds they had been suffering for several weeks had all vanishied, as if by some 'Christmas Miracle' cure. However, doctors have been quick to point out the more likely cause is the lack of Christmas music now being played on Radio, TV and in shops, all with the addition of sleigh bells.
They have gone on to warn people that the 'banging headaches' they are likely to suffer over the next week or so are almost certain to be caused by the indiscriminate detonation of fireworks by people in their back gardens to celebrate Midnight on News Year's Eve. Many of these people seem to lack basic calendars, or the ability to tell the time. (This problem is also witnessed around Guy Fawkes Night, and Halloween).
People have also been told not to worry about strange colourful blobs appearing before their eyes whenever they go shopping. This phenomenon is simply explained by supermarkets over stocking their shelves with Easter Eggs months in advance.
