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Having used balloons to infiltrate US air space, China have threatened to employ further party paraphernalia, which includes firing spy drones out a gender reveal cannon. Beijing confirmed: 'We've trained hundreds of clowns to infiltrate the White House. They should blend in perfectly with the usual collection of clowns that work there.
‘Americans rarely question the providence of a spy cameras, provided they have frosting and sprinkles on them. We’re working on audio bugs shaped like mini-pizzas and spy-pens concealed in hot dogs. All of our surveillance equipment will be covered in glitter and any future spy balloons will be shaped like animals.’
One startled American said: 'I was a bit surprised to see a Chinese spy plane flying overhead, but I felt so relieved when I saw it trailing a banner saying ‘Happy 50th, Suzy’.’
image from pixabay
A floaty thing in the sky has made major international news and, strangely, not because it's lovely, or shaped like a dildo.
'Sure, it's a balloon. Sure it's big. Sure it might be used to spy,' said a shady fellow who just stepped out of an infeasible shadow. 'But do you know the level of espionage going on which makes this look like a small child's My First Spying Set? Do you know how many satellites are already capable of monitoring the label on the inside of your underpants from 300 miles up? And you know what military drones can do, right?'
Top American defence scientists are, however, concerned to the point of a bit of wee coming out. 'We are in complete awe of the level of technology. It's just so advanced. Just so innovative. And just so mind-blowingly unlikely. A china balloon? Wow.
'How have they done that? Surely you can't inflate china? And it would be too heavy, right? We're still drinking hot beverages out of our china. But we've instantly begun a high-budget program so we can start catching up on the extraordinary properties of this wonder material that we didn't previously know about. Hey, imagine if you could float tea into your mouth...?'
image from pixabay
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