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A special interest group has called tax and benefit changes in the budget disastrous / brilliant.
A spokesman said, 'These changes will condemn / rescue a generation to / from poverty. They will be remembered as the high / low point of this Labour government.'
Although the changes are complicated, the majority of people in the special interest group will be worse / better off.
Political commentators believe that the changes will torpedo / turbocharge Labour's chances of winning a second term.
The opposition say that the changes are brilliant / disastrous and long overdue / embarrassing and pitiful. They say that they are unlikely to extend / reverse them when they return to power.
Journalists are rushing to find pathetic and sad / photogenic and happy victims / beneficiaries of the changes.
A spokesperson for number 10 has confirmed that the Prime Minister needs to accept bespoke suits, frocks for Mrs Starmer and mega-expensive glasses to reduce the security risks.
'If the Prime Minister was to use Specsavers then we would have to clear out the whole store and fill it with security personnel at huge costs to the taxpayer,' he said, explaining the rationale was the same as using a gifted box at Arsenal instead of clearing the whole of the home stands and filling them with security.
'And buying suits from M&S would be impossible, what with the Reform demographic shopping there. We'd have to clear the store, Primark next door and half the security detail insist they'd have to stake out the Ann Summers' shop across the road just in case,' he added.
He denied Mrs Starmers' frocks were purely security concern related. 'The Chancellor has saved so much taking the Winter Fuel Allowance off pensioners she felt the PM was due a bonus. Unfortunately, her idea of buying him football tickets, new suits or designer glasses were no-go, so she bought his missus a few fancy frocks instead,' he said.
Picture credit: Wix AI
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