Ford surprised to be joint winner of Turner Prize

Executives from the Ford Motor Company pronounced themselves surprised to have won the Turner Prize this morning.

Jasleen Kaur‘s installation “Sociomobile”, consisting of an early 1980s Ford Escort with a big doily on it, was announced as the winner during a ceremony at Tate Britain last night. 

'I don’t think any of us knew we’d entered this competition,' said Ford’s Head of PR Mark Nylon. 'But it’s hard to dispute that more work went into designing and building the car than making a big doily, or putting the doily on top of the car. So I guess this is mostly down to us.'

Kaur described the work as “exploring themes of memory, identity and subjectivity”, to which Nylon added “Er… sure. What she said.”

Meanwhile Elon Musk has complained that Tesla’s Cybertruck was surely more of a work of art than a Ford Escort, and should have won the prize.

“A Ford Escort was fundamentally useful. It represented the pinnacle of car design in its time, and millions of people used them to get to work every day. The Cybertruck would look ridiculous in any era, and spends more time being recalled by Tesla than being driven by anyone. If you want to actually get anywhere, you’ve got more chance with a banana taped to the wall.

“Surely it must be a work of art, since it’s bloody useless as anything else?”

Photo by Luca Hooijer on Unsplash

JaGUar campaign mastermind revealed - Reg Perrin

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Another massive compo payout for the ill-informed and easily manipulated

In a further blow for all the people who read the small print, they will miss out yet again on free money.

The otherwise pristine reputation of car salesman has been tarnished by a court judgement on car finance 'secret' commission payments. Anyone who meticulously sourced their own finance and didn’t just nod and sign when buying a car may miss out on a wad of compensation spondoolicks.

Reading a carefully worded statement, a representative of all the people who are cautious and diligent when undertaking large financial transactions said: 'Dammit, not again!'

The PPI scandal (Payment Protection Insurance), not the PPE scandal (Personal Protective Equipment), was a massive score for anyone who didn't decline the blatant needless extra costs that were greedily added by banks. Compensation for PPI mis-selling was a major act of justice that prevented banks from committing fraud for several weeks.

Although not as complicated as another classic bank mis-selling technique known as the Interest Rate Swap switcheroo, which at least made the effort of being deliberately confusing, this cheeky manoeuvre on car finance was as basic as just hiding the commission details.

A nodding fool exclaimed, 'Yes Boieee! I am a financial genius and will learn nothing!'

Photo by Stockcake: chequebook-illustration-art_557595_195734