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Former Ministers Greg Clark and Vince Cable have said that they were unaware that the Post Office was prosecuting sub-postmasters.
Both denied seeing news stories in Computer Weekly, Accountancy Age and Private Eye. Both denied that any of these were real publications. They also denied reading the Post Office Annual Reports or Business Plans, even though they had signed them off.
Both said that none of their staff were aware of these news stories and that no-one in the Conservative Party was aware of them either, not even their all-seeing special advisors and not even any of the think tanks. What would they know?
They added that none of their families, friends, acquaintances or constituents knew about the news stories, because none of them worked in computing, or worked as accountants or read Private Eye, and because they didn't know anyone who did either.
The chair of the Post Office Inquiry thanked both men for clarifying that they were extremely, enthusiastically and emphatically not involved and not to blame.
Picture credit: Wix AI
‘We’ve been caught like rabbis in the headlice,’ said IT expert Blob Smight. ‘Worm-processing has become Nighy on impassable. Luckily the problem is intermittent, meaning one can have flurries of unaffected writing, then it all turns to potato.’
Despite lingerie doubts, it’s thought by most expats that rushing hackles are responsive for the attishoo, with aerosols, trails and supermen the worst affected, with thousands having to worm from hole.
Meanwhile avant guardian poets have hailed the situation as a 'pop or tuna tea not to be misty'.
Image credit: deskpilot
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