An advocate for a second referendum explained: 'I hear a lot of negativity about Nuclear winters, but who doesn't like to snuggle up, with a nice matching sweater from John Lewis? This is an opportunity to reject Brexit - after all, you can't leave Europe if there is no Europe to leave.
'We need to support the Ukraine and their affordable au pairs. Nuclear holocaust is backed by 48% of the public, which from my perspective, is a stonking majority'.
As school life returns to normal, the event, which is particularly popular amongst parents, is set for a welcome return. Teachers are encouraging children to peruse bookshops and car boot sales to find any book that has even the most tenuous link to whatever fancy dress they happen to have.
‘There has been a sad decline in children dressing up over the last few years,’ explains Mrs. Butler, a primary school teacher from Tenby. ‘By making a link with something the children see every day, such as a book, we are hoping to attract them back to fancy dress and to build healthy habits for later life.’
Event organisers are encouraging children to think outside the dressing-up box and not just look at traditional and popular fiction books.
‘They don’t just need to go for the tried and tested Harry Potter', said another teacher. 'We are trying to show them how non-fiction books can transform their dressing-up world: get a book on cats and hey presto all you need are some face paints and cardboard ears. If they find a book on sport, they can just wear their PE kit. We had one particularly sage child last year who found a book on the Art of Invisibility... oh.’
Research shows that the event works. Those exposed to the first BABMWFSF Days are now fully-fledged adults. ‘We are seeing far higher incidents of Cosplay participation amongst young adults, who can read, than ever before in history,’ explained a passing geography teacher.
With this year's event taking place today, parents around the country are emerging from 12 hours of blind panic, frantic shopping and questionable sewing skills, after discovering a letter in the bottom of schoolbags yesterday evening informing them of the happy event at their child's school.
Dignitas are offering a special discount to any member of the Illuminati who would like to avoid questioning by Interpol. Said a spokeswoman: ‘Normally we would only assist the terminally ill, but we are broadening our offer to include anyone who has met Peter Mandelson’.
Assisted Suicide covers a range of services; including a soundproof police cell, no CCTV and a surprisingly large number of nooses left lying around. Said one Assassin: ‘Basically its seven degrees of Jeffrey Epstein. If we think you might spill the beans, we’ll be visiting you with a nice cup of Horlicks and a spoonful of Ricin’.
Dignitas confirmed: ‘The great thing about the scheme, is you don’t have to volunteer for it, Bill Clinton will do that for you. Some kindly benefactor has already paid for Giselle Maxwell and Prince Andrew’s butler’
