The International Criminal Court has taken the unprecedented step of issuing an international arrest warrant for author and TV personality David Walliams after determining there are reasonable grounds for him committing crimes against humanity and literature.
Judges at the Hague said that the former Britain's Got Talent Judge bore responsibility for a series of atrocities such as unpalatable remarks regarding contestants, ill-thought out comedic characters, and torturing parents by churning out lazily-written stories with banal plots and questionable characters.
The action has been condemned by HarperCollins, who insist the writer's books are merely a continuation of the style of children's stories by peers going back decades. Speaking at their UK Headquarters in London, head of youth publishing Roger Roterhut told us, "Mr Walliams is a hugely successful author, with books beloved by children and their parents. Yes, you could say his writing is derivative, and relies on dated stereotypes, and the over-reliance of The Queen as deus ex machina; however, you could say that about several other luminaries of the genre, such as Roald Dahl, and he was loved by all, never saying anything contentious or that could tarnish his image. In that way, our client is exactly like Dahl, or JK Rowling."
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