Japan finally breeds a Godzilla

'It took us releasing 1.34 million tonnes of radioactive water, to make our dream come true,' boasted one scientist. 'We'd tried it with Irn-Bru but all we got was an orange-looking tuna fish.'

The Godzilla will be a great boost to the tourist industry and an opportunity to flatten down town Tokyo. 'There was a concern that we might get a Spiderman or cut-price Pokemon. And the last thing we wanted to do is give a lobster tumours.

'It's not easy evolving a monster of epic proportions - just ask those that engineered Brexit.'

image from pixabay

Billericay boy, Barry, boasts Brexit brought bountiful, bright, better Britain

Billericay Costermonger, Barry Shyte, is a man on a mission to highlight every last Brexit Benefit that's come the UK's way since June 24th 2016.

'It's been bloody brilliant, ain't it?' enthuses the fifty-five year-old fruit and veg man from behind his stall in the marketplace. 'Some say we're in a much worse position as regards all this global trading stuff and that. But I don't buy that old pony. It's bleedin' Project Fear all over again.'

When asked to name one single tangible benefit Barry said, 'Well there's the... erm... No hang on. Ah, what about stopping all them old foreigners and refu... no I can't say that, can I? Cos of the woke brigade and do-gooders whinging on.

'Got it. I read we're now able to control the minting of sovereigns with the new King on them, or summink like that. Gotcha there mate, didn't I? Them Brussels Bureaucrats wudda put the kybosh on that. I say - Bring back Boris!'

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