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In a surprise vote, 41% of Tory MPs tried to oust him - surprising that it was so low. The 1922 committee explained: 'In a vote of no confidence, all those who had no confidence in him before, still have no confidence in him - but this time with sprinkles on top.


'And 48% voted against his leadership in 2019, which means 7% of these f$ckwits now think he's got better with age!'


image from pixabay

The Prime Minister has removed the words "honesty, integrity, transparency and accountability" from the ministerial code, it has been revealed.


'Boris just doesn't understand what these words mean', said a source close to the PM. 'His face just goes blank whenever they're mentioned'.


An aide is said to have attempted to help him understand, but was asked by the PM to only use single syllable words if at all possible as his head was starting to hurt.



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