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Comic book nerds have been wondering how soon it will not be in bad taste to wonder why the infected blood scandal has failed to yield any superheroes, or at least superhero films.
Gary Grimthwaite said 'Renegade Doctors? Government cover ups? It's like the origin story is writing itself. Let's be honest, Marvel would have made an entire Cinematic Universe and probably a billion dollars out of this.'
'And on the subject of infected blood, 28 Days Later is getting another sequel, 28 Years Later, which is coincidentally a lot quicker than any of the victims are going to see any compensation.'
Tory intern Henry Hootington-Hurst said 'Apologies are free, so there'll be lots of those. Rishi says if we spin it out long enough, the people eligible for actual compensation will be dead - kerching! He said if we really spin it out, everyone will be dead, so nothing really matters. I think the upcoming election wipe-out is getting to him.'
There was good news, however, as some of the apologies from government ("Soz, Rishi x") and NHS bosses have healed many of those made sick and in some cases, even brought the dead back to life.
Hootington-Hurst interrupted 'Sorry did that guy say a billion dollars? Hang on a minute Rishi, I've got a great idea.'
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