President Elect Donald Trump's nominee for Health Secretary Robert F Kennedy Jr is planning to make America Sick Again, but in a good way. 'Everyone knows that sick means great,' a spokesman for the nominee said today. To that end the Health Secretary wants to eradicate polio by scrapping the vaccine. 'How is polio supposed to go away if we insist on injecting it into every person in the country?' asked an expert trained in You Tube and Twitter (AKA X, AKA the money pit).
Plague, Black Death and HIV are also expected to be reintroduced, mainly because they statistically affect the poor and the unwashed, otherwise known as now unneeded Trump voters. 'The odd incurable disease is good for the Affordable Care Act budget, mainly because it doesn't cover archaic illnesses,' said the spokesman.