top of page
Search

Best of Newsbiscuit - February 2024



February 2024...


Politic mudslinging in Britain continued, as election fever tightened its grip. The government continued to do nothing, which it considered the least worst option, while factions inside the Conservative Party knocked seven bells out of each other. Keir Starmer continued his policy of promising nothing, and talked tough to keep his recalcitrant troops into line.


In the US, Joe Biden (‘the gaffer’) continued to insist that he could beat Donald Trump, and wouldn’t quit the race. Trump continued to do and say strange things. How we laughed.


In other news, royal illnesses loomed large. In the world of sport, we ran the prophetic story ‘Tom Hartley to be fast-tracked to cricketing failure’. And we had some topical Valentine’s Day posts.


Here’s a personal selection of the top stories from February 2024, loosely organised by topic. Click through to read the stories and the author credits. Scroll down to see a selection of the month’s best headlines.


Politics UK


Politics USA


Royal News


Valentine’s Day


Sport and Lifestyle


And a selection of the best headlines from February 2024


Including all the other news – taxes, net zero, Navalny, the green belt, Covid inquiry, and Gaza. We are fearless. We can make fun of almost anything….


Airfix modeller struggling with the transfer window

Overworked journalists ask Tories for just one scandal at a time

Popular Conservatives even less popular than actual Conservatives

Chancellor to raise taxes to fund tax cuts

Hermit orders contactless debit card

Pulping companies eagerly await copies of Liz Truss's new book

'My memory is fine' - Biden tells coat rack

Trawler men admit net zero isn't working for them           

‘I remember when all this were buildings,’ says Gazan grandfather

Navalny felt unwell after walk to clifftop, prison officials say

Failed pop star says he's bored hitless

Green belt loosened

Ozone Layer accused of Massive Cover-Up

‘Sturgeon harvested my tears before Covid Inquiry attendance,’ says crocodile

Netanyahu sets up Frontières Sans Médecins

Man found guilty of overusing commas is told to expect a very long sentence

'Aim for the stars' Oscars sniper told

Teachers astonished to learn they only do 26 hours unpaid overtime a week


Picture credit: Wix AI

Best of Newsbiscuit - January 2024


January 2024...


That TV program about the Post Office catapulted the story into the news, almost wiping out speculation about the date of the general election. Sunak tried to raise his profile, and lower Boris’s. Starmer continued to lie low and not say anything to frighten the voters. Water companies continued to muddy the waters over, err, muddy water. Small boats continued to bring people across the channel. You might notice that there are no stories about the various wars that were going on - always a difficult topic for jokes.


Here’s a personal selection of the top stories from January 2024, loosely organised by topic. Click through to read the stories and the author credits. Scroll down to see our pick of the month’s best headlines.


Migration

General Election


Media and TV


Politics


Post Office


Water Companies


Religion



And a selection of the best headlines from January 2024


Some of these are topical and some are just silly. And many of the headlines, for some reason, seem to be about the Royal Family. So, no New Year honours for us, then...


Silver Spoon responsible for King's enlarged prostate  

Dog with two dicks, "quite happy" says vet 

Tories to employ Luke Littler to show them how to actually hit targets

All BBC programmes to include a tightrope-walker, for balance

Dodgy batch of underlay swept under the carpet

Drunk Olympics to include hurling for the first time

Man who found plane parts in his garden thought it was a delivery for next door

Man who wanted tablet for Xmas unhappy to get an aspirin   

Man says the 2 birds in the bush were better than the one in his hand

Wales’ biggest employer says Tata

Guitar school found to be institutionally bassist

Epstein fingered Andrew

Darts fans shocked at teenage boy has well honed wrist action

Florida adopts execution by Helium to "lighten the atmosphere"

Post Office scandal: Met Police investigate now that it's been on telly

Hasbro say five year wait for Operation is down to 14 years of Tory government

Northern rhinos saved from extinction by feeding them pies, chips and gravy

Pub football team hit with massive pints deduction       

Blunt pencil collection just pointless

Man who fell into an infinity pool says it took him forever to get out

Vwl thf stll t lrg



Image credit: Wix AI

bottom of page