The parts other taxes don't reach

Drinking to be banned in pubs

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Aussies celebrate new "right to disconnect"

'I'm going out on the town and drinking a dozen schooners of the amber nectar to celebrate my right to disconnect," said Melbourne nurse Sheila, after hearing that Australian workers now have the right to ignore communications from their employers when they are off shift.

'I've always said to the matron that it would actually be pretty fucking dangerous to connect with me in my spare hours, given the amount of alcohol I put into my system immediately after work down the Waltzing Matilda Chug and Root.

'I swear that after an hour at that bar, I wouldn't know whether to stick an enema into an arse or an elbow.'

"Having the right to disconnect makes sod all difference to me, mate,' said ranch hand Bruce, blearily shaving his head with a set of electric sheep shears.

'I've been pretty much totally disconnected ever since I started downing tinnies at the age of twelve.

'Where the fuck am I? Why am I seeing hundreds of fluffy white creatures? Have I got the DTs?'

Photo by Victor Clime on Unsplash