top of page
Search

BBC announces first ever AI concert at the Proms

The BBC has confirmed this year's Proms will reach another milestone, when on July 30th the music will be provided by AI, two Apple Mac computers and Sir Cliff Richard.


Festival Director, David St. Hubbins* commented: 'In our modern AI digital age this was really an inevitable development. On the night the programme will consist of two thirty-minute pieces improvised by Artificial Intelligence. We're all very excited.


'Quite literally we might hear anything. So you see, once again The Proms shows it is not the stuffy preserve of the luvvies and la-di-da upper classes. Au contraire, it's at the very cutting-edge of artistic creativity.'


When one puzzled reporter asked what role Sir Cliff Richard was to play in the event, St Hubbins said, 'Oh, well,of course, he's our fallback performer in case there's a power cut.'



Picture credit: Wix AI

BBC funding model to be more widely adopted

It was announced today, to general shouts of acclamation, that “the unique way the BBC is funded” will no longer be unique.


From now on, anyone who wants to drive any kind of car will have to pay a monthly fee to Skoda. This will entitle them to drive a Skoda or, if they spend more money, the car they actually want.


“It’s ridiculous,” said one disgruntled motorist. “I realise these days Skodas aren’t the joke they were in the 80s. Well, not quite.


“But why should I have to pay them money when I drive a Volkswagen?”


Nor did he accept the argument that Skodas are “public service cars” that the free market couldn't produce. “If anything, making Skoda the ‘trust fund kid’ that doesn’t have to earn a living only makes them complacent. They’d probably make much better cars if they had to worry about appealing to consumers.”


Along the same lines, it was announced that anyone who wants a mobile phone will have to pay a fee to minor manufacturer Xiaomi, and if you want to read any newspaper you’ll have to pay the Leicester Mercury for the privilege.


For his part, Sadiq Khan was furious that there was a way of screwing money out of motorists he hadn’t thought of himself.




bottom of page