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The Once Upon a Time in Hollywood actress, who prefers to be termed actor, was caught once again using a standard ambulatory motion to gain access along a city street. Long-known for her ability to be seen both in public and private, onlookers, some of whom utilised cellular telephonic devices to capture the moment, expressed astonishment at bearing witness to a moment in which Margot Robbie was being seen again having been seen elsewhere by somebody in the most recent previous one.


Not only did the Barbie star, comfortable in clothing that covered all of her physical body except for hands, hair, face, and, at times, bare portions of either wrist, enjoy a leisurely being seen along Venice beach with husband, Tom Ackerley, she also paused to execute a looking action outside a store selling items made of a variety of cloths used by people to be worn on upper parts of the human body. In glancing at the display, Robbie’s gaze was obliged to penetrate a large pane of rectangular glass, which thus offered a reflection of the actress back at herself and, ipso facto, to any passers-by, technically doubling the being seen-ness of Margot Robbie for that instant.


‘I don’t know how she does it,’ exclaimed one of the people there to see Margot Robbie in that brief period of her being seen. ‘She’s already out there, being seen. Then she stops to look in a window and –bam!- there’s two Margot Robbies. Margot Robbie has increased her whole levels of being seeness by at least one visible apparition.’


At one point during the being seen, the The Wolf of Wall Street actor can be seen pressing her lips together in rapid succession, waiting for husband Ackerley to do the same, then, as if on cue, responding with another sequence of mouth shapes. A Hollywood insider explained. ‘Robbie takes being seen back to the glory days of Hayworth and Bacall. But adding in apparent conversation is such a 2024 touch. I don’t doubt that at some point soon she is going to be being heard.’


image from pixabay



Sentient tin of corned beef Piers Morgan made headlines again this week for criticising Greta Gerwig’s “Barbie,” the box office hit which subverted expectations for having depth and heart beneath its hot pink exterior.


‘It should have been about how great men are,’ Piers harrumphed. ‘If I made a gender swapped Barbie I’d be crucified. I mean, imagine if I made a movie where I cast Margot Robbie as a sexy accessory to the male protagonist. Imagine if all she did was look hot while her husband was an ambitious tycoon who’s wildly successful at his job. The feminists would riot!’


In response to Piers’ hurt feelings, Mattel have released a statement announcing that a bespoke Piers Morgan doll “Moaning Morgan” is now in development and set to hit shelves before the end of the year.


‘We really broke the mould with this one,’ a Mattel spokesperson tells us. ‘We had to completely remodel Barbie’s face to really capture Piers’ florid wattle. His little balloon knot of a mouth proved particularly challenging; we’re used to working on a small scale, but we had to get paintbrushes made especially. Thank God our dolls don’t have genitals.’


The doll will come equipped with multiple accessories, including a miniature copy of the Daily Mail, a raw leg of beef, and a dartboard with a picture of Meghan Markle on it. Taking notes from the 2010 “Video Girl” Barbie, which was pulled from shelves due to hacking concerns, Moaning Morgan will come equipped with an embedded screen that connects to your phone, so you can tweet racial epithets straight from the doll’s mouth.


‘We hope that by giving him this dolly to play with, it will distract him enough to stop him from crying,' Mattel tells us.


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