Shock as sitcom star announces intention to star in a sitcom

In a surprise move one high profile sitcom star is set to break ranks with their contemporaries by actually starring in a new sitcom.

The move has taken media by surprise, as in recent years successful sitcom performers have only been making travelogues. Quite often with a parent in tow, where they schlep around the countryside, or indeed in some cases the world, voicing over sumptuous shots of stunning scenery, sampling exotic culture and food and simply having one massive freebie they are then able to pass off as a TV show.

One such star who wished to remain anonymous commenting on the news said, 'I suppose I understand what's happening. It's their conscience. Guilt at betraying their artistic integrity and all that highfalutin cobblers. But, look. I had the pressure of writing my show, learning lines and then the sheer hard graft of getting it in the can. Out on shoots at all hours in the bloody freezing cold weather.

'Well now that I've made a name for myself my fans can sod that for a game of soldiers. I'm off to Australia with my Mum and an ITV cameraman next month for what's essentially a six-week all-expenses-paid 5-star holiday. And I'll probably win a BAFTA for my trouble. A fat lot more than I ever got for making people laugh.'

image from pixabay

New BAFTA award - Best Dramatisation of Prince Andrew Interview

It was announced today that so many dramatisations of the Prince Andrew interview have now been made, they're getting their own category at the BAFTAs.

The announcement was followed up by the surprise news that the broadcast of the interview itself will also be eligible for the award.

'Which is a bit weird,' said Gillian Anderson, who played interviewer Emily Maitlis in one of the dramatisations. 'I mean, I thought I was pretty good as Maitlis, but I’m obviously not as much like her as she is herself.' She was reassured by BAFTA judges that her performance wouldn’t be judged as an impression, but in her ability to 'bring out the essential Maitlisness of Maitlis', to which she replied that she thought Maitlis herself would still have the edge.

However, a further controversy has engulfed the award, as it was alleged that Prince Andrew has been wining and dining the judges in the hope of influencing the vote.

The Prince responded to the controversy by giving a TV interview in which he said he had no memory of flying the judges to the Côte d’Azur for the weekend, presenting them with expensive watches or offering to secure them honours in return for their votes, despite photographic evidence that he did all those things. After the interview, he told an aide 'If anyone asks, I spent that weekend at Pizza Express in Woking.'

Image by Peggy und Marco Lachmann-Anke from Pixabay

Grandad's Santa performance at primary school nominated for a BAFTA

Eric Siddings, 66, has been nominated for a BAFTA after producing a career defining performance as Santa at the local primary school.

'My last acting gig was aged ten as a surprisingly smooth-chinned Jesus at the school performance of the Last Supper,' said Siddings at a press conference today.  'I used my own beard,' the grey-chinned retired project manager added.  He explained how he'd stopped trimming his beard for the last two months, smoothing it down with engine oil in an attempt to ensure the children at the school didn't work out his ruse when he collected his grandchildren. 

'On the day of the performance I went full method, bulking myself with a folded one-tog duvet around the midriff and spiking my beard with lard from the fridge to access my inner Michael Sheen,' he said.  Early reviews included three children who had changed their mind about the existence of Santa, two who did believe reconsidering and an unknown number understood to be consulting with their legal teams.  Apparently, Christmas Day presents from Santa will determine whether multiple breaches of contract will be submitted.

'I think it went rather well,' said Siddings, shrugging the red suit off.  'I hope so because I don't want to spend the next fifty years waiting for the phone to ring.'