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The mushroom foraging literature sector has been flooded with free books written entirely by Artificial Intelligences, it has been discovered.


Professor of Doom at Westward Ho! University, James Cameroon confirmed, 'Those sneaky bastard A.I.s have done for us in the most elegant and Machiavellian of manners. We were all expecting them to take control of computer defence systems and nuke us out of existence. But instead, they cunningly wrote and published a load of fungi foraging guides with the other type of deadly mushroom slipped in.


'It's just so dastardly. They calculated that every community contains precisely the right number of secret food foragers, and that following the August blackberrying rampage, they would scour local woodlands for species of edible shrooms. Who doesn't like a free bit of grub provided by nature? Craftily, they included harmless varieties, interspersed with ones which would finish us off.


'I myself provided some tasty looking toadstools for the Sunday family dinner, and now we all have terminal kidney failure. Luckily, I've found a series of books on Amazon which show you how to do your own organ transplants, so we're going to survive.'





In a groundbreaking first for Britain’s courts, Amazon’s Personal Assistant, Alexa, is named as the third person in a love triangle.


Shelly and Brian Giddings from Walsall have filed divorce papers where pretty brunette Shelly (28) names the device as ‘the other woman’.


Shelly told reporters: ‘I bought an Echo for Brian at Christmas, but within three weeks I'd caught him draping his Y-Fronts over it and writing it juvenile love poetry.


‘The poems are embarrassing crap, too. The best rhyme he managed for Alexa, ‘I love you more than Shelly... my ex-a.’


Brian told Walsall FM: ‘Sad things have ended for Shel and me this way. But the fact is it's finished between us. She never lets me listen to my Motorhead and Iron Maiden CDs.


‘But now all I have to say is – "Alexa, start my Metal Favourites on Spotify" – and bosh - Ace of Spades. But the real the kicker is Alexa never once suggests playing Robbie Williams or Olly sodding Murs. She’s just amazing. A diamond. Love is never having to say "Alexa, I'm sorry".’


hat-tip lockjaw



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