London Airports raise terror threat from other rival London Airports

The recent attack on Heathrow power infrastructure was confirmed to be by a rival airport group. The LAFF (Luton Airport Freedom Fighters) is a violent splinter group of the The Real Luton Airport Authority. Taking advantage of the struggling airports shut down, Luton Airport has initiated further growth of its territory with another retaliatory runway expansion.

Gatwick continues to condemn the violence and needless aggression yet continues with its own controversial Northern Runway expansion.

Internal fights escalated within the Heathrow leadership over the security failures, stemming back to the drone infiltrations that initially exposed their vulnerability.

The Front de libération du Stansted, recently interviewed in Time magazine, have vowed to not release customers baggage until their new departure lounge is approved.

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Chaos! Cancelled flights leave passengers stuck in airports with British holidaymakers

Flights have been cancelled across Southern Europe as aviation staff undertake industrial action. That has meant continental Europeans being forced to share seating areas, toilets, and feelings of impatience with angry and sometimes sober British holidaymakers.

'Usually we only see them as we pass the terminal Wetherspoons,' said one Parisian en route to Prague to view a church ceiling. 'But this time we had to share contiguous spaces in real time.'

'Our children were crying,' reported a Latvian taking his family on a wild seed hunt in far-flung fjords. 'We have watched documentaries about British holidaymakers, but never thought we’d be forced to breathe the same bathroom air.'

It is understood that airlines usually allocate their oldest flying stock to ferry the animal-like Brits from Luton to Alicante, but the strikes have led to last-minute changes in logistical operations and the possibility of people from Huddersfield occupying planes unlikely to crash.

'If I’d known we would have been surrounded by people from the United Kingdom, I’d have taken out extra insurance,' said a cultured eye-glass polisher from Strasbourg worried that the strikes would render him late for a penny-farthing and Greek lantern exhibition in the Bay of Haribonesia.

Without tannoy instructions to board planes, Brits were seen shedding clothes and helplessly urinating where they stood. Meanwhile, males among the island tribe broke out into time-killing fights while others frustrated at the lengthy waits, and were seen demanding their human rights, free chips, and wireless lager.

Picture credit: Wix AI

Enquiry launched as someone parking at airport doesn't leave with his eyes watering

Managers in charge of parking at Stansted Airport have ordered an urgent enquiry into the parking system at the airport.

'Mugs, er I mean, customers, think that the video cameras are there for number plate recognition, but they also monitor the faces of drivers to see their expressions when the the double digit fee for parking for 20 minutes appears. We often watch that just for the LOLs. However, we were amazed when one driver merely held up his debit card and smiled.'

photo: https://pixabay.com/users/652234-652234/