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Following the fallout (literally) of an emergency door from a Boeing plane in flight, the company has pledged to use 'much stronger glue' when building their planes in future.
'We’d been using the glue that comes with Airfix models,' explained Boeing CEO Dave Nosedive today. 'I mean, they’re planes too, right?
'Then we noticed the small print on the box said "This is a non-working model, obviously you can’t use the same glue for real planes, you utter morons." So between that and the news stories about our planes falling out of the sky, we realised we needed a rethink.'
Nosedive said he sent his Head of Procurement, Steve Tightwad, down to WHSmith to see what they had. 'He came back with an own brand, all purpose glue that was pretty che… I mean, cost efficient. Doesn’t specifically say it can be used on metal, but it’s probably OK.'
Despite this, Nosedive was summoned to a meeting of angry shareholders in New York, with the specific instruction he should fly there on a plane made by someone else.
An iPhone that was recovered in Oregon and found to still work after being sucked from the Alaska Airlines 737 Max 9 on Friday when it lost its door plug, has astonished Apple engineers who are keen to examine it.
“We thought we had covered every possible angle we could make an iPhone break and incur ludicrous repair charges, but falling to earth from five miles up without breaking, is something that never occurred to us to cover” said Chuck Hick, an Apple design engineer. “It was amazing to be told that even after a five mile drop and landing with a bump, it hadn’t even lost its WhatsApp messages.
Apple has promised its loyal fans it will investigate why the phone never failed and address the issue before the iPhone 16 (pro politician edition) is launched later this year.
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