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Rees-Mogg rules out throwing his pith helmet into the ring

Jacob Rees-Mogg has revealed he has no intention of throwing his Victorian pith helmet into the ring, as the number of Tory leadership candidates surges.

The MP for North East Somerset, and Right Honourable member for at least 250 years ago, said it's a lovely old hat and chucking it on the floor would wreck the thing.

"While there have been numerous members suggesting I stand, I feel now is not the right time," said Rees-Mogg, 109, from on top of his penny farthing.

"I've even had Johnny Rotten backing me, Sadly, though, I don't want to ruin my pith helmet; it often accompanies me on family holidays to Prussia, Mesopotamia and the Sudetenland."

Some people have called for stricter rules on standing as leader, saying too many people have thrown their hat into the ring. At the last count, all but one Tory MP had put their name forward.

Not all is lost for Boris

A caretaker function for Boris is not the right description as ours has to fix things, as part of his job.

Still not all is lost. After the catering lady left her position it's understood Boris managed to find the manual for the Teasmade. He remarked, ‘I have a whiteboard for the list of names for sugar and milk, which can be rewritten at short notice. AND the missus can bake delicious scones (or scons), whatever.’

story by: syntaxerror01

photo: https://pixabay.com/users/jillwellington-334088/