Silence descended on newsrooms across the world as they realised that US President Donald Trump had not opined about some story he'd just seen on the telly.
'Whether it's the RAF Fairford incident, the Flydubai pilot stabbing or rioting French school kids,' said the editor of Rotters, the international press agency dedicated to covering Trump and his buddies, 'we've always waited eagerly to see whatever unsolicited comment the President has come out with.
'However rash, ignorant or pointless Trump's opinion may be, he's never been able to resist the urge to sound off about whatever captures his twisted mind. And our job is to irritate readers by repeating whatever he has said, even though they were perfectly fine without hearing about it at all.
'So imagine our surprise when British PM Andy Burnham announced an end to the state pension triple lock and Trump didn't weigh in with something typically dumb and ugly on Truth Social. We waited for hours, but nothing. Later we found out that Trump had been asked what he thought and actually said he didn't have a view one way or another. Incredible!'
Upon hearing that Gobshite Donald had declined to pronounce on something he knew damn all about, astrophysicists scrambled to observatories to see whether the Earth was still spinning on its axis, and the world's faith leaders checked in with the Almighty to see whether doomsday had come.
Normal service resumed shortly after, when Trump used social media to post a characteristically rude remark that Federal Reserve chairman Jerome Powell was stupid and belonged in jail.
Donald Trump, who himself is a convicted criminal, is 80 in IQ points.
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