Starmer makes a dis statement outside Number 10

The UK Prime Minister, wearing some clip-on sunglasses fixed over his spectacles, read out a carefully crafted dis.

“'n response to The Notorious DJTs recent comments about us not helping them with an illegal war, I will quote what he said recently about our troops in Afghanistan, we’d only just end up staying a little back, a little off the front lines, so why should we bother? Remember, we’re not dealing with a Roosevelt here.'

He carefully placed the mic on the floor and strolled away from the podium, whilst Trump exploded the UK economy behind him.

Trump explains why he picked on Iran

'I chose to bomb Iran, rather than anywhere else on the planet, since its name strikes a real chord with me,' Trump told the drone fleet in the White House press corps.

'That's because I ran away from military service in Vietnam, and I ran away from my creditors in Atlantic City.

'Also, I ran away from the Epstein investigation by gratuitously starting this war.

'The next place I'll be bombing is Havana.

'That's because I've been Havana great time throwing my weight about as US Fuhrer... I mean, president.'

USA explains the "special" in special relationship means retarded

A four-star General explained: 'We are very mindful of using inclusive language and avoiding harmful labelling. In no way do we want undermine or devalue an individual on the basis of physical impairment, but we can all agree the British are f$*king mental.'

The backwards manner in which the UK follows America into one illegal war after another, is a clear sign that the lights on but no one is home. Sending British troops to their death just to get a tickle under the chin by Donald Trump is very definition of madness.

'Call it Political Correctness, call it Woke,, we don't want to give offense—but you have to agree that the Brits have a special gift—they're as thick as $hit. I would never use the "R" word to describe another human being, but in relation to Keir Starmer he really is "R" and a bit of a "C" as well.'