"The President is a deeply disagreeable person," said a White House spokes-cockroach, "and he is more used to receiving outraged abuse than compliments. That's why he is so very grateful to the editor of the Wall Street Journal for his affectionate words.
"During the visit of Chinese leader Xi Jinping, President Trump had shown him a picture of an autopen and told Xi it was Joe Biden. The two then laughed.
"When the President read the next day in the Wall Street Journal that his behaviour had been 'utterly disgusting', tears welled in his eye and he said it was the kindest thing anyone had ever said. His parents had never spoken to him that lovingly."
Later during his visit, Xi cackled as Trump tore the wings off a butterfly on the south lawn of the White House and invited him to China to see how his security services treat Uyghur dissidents.
Why not join our WhatsApp channel, NewsBiscuit Daily Posts? You can access the latest output from NewsBiscuit and share posts easily with friends, family and colleagues using WhatsApp. Get some biscuits in your pocket (sorry about the crumbs, though) by clicking here
