A bible reading from the Book of Epic Fury

And it came to pass that Israel, spoilt child of America, waxed exceeding wrath at the Persians and smote them with all the stuff that America had given them.

And lo, they slew the supreme leader, whereupon they and their sugar daddy Donald fell to gloating and cackling whilst amongst the chief Persians there was a wailing and a gnashing of teeth.

And then the Persians waxed wrath and smote all the countries around them which were America's allies - which wasn't the plan. Verily, it was not the plan at all.

Then the neighbouring countries waxed wrath at America and their batshit crazy leader Donald, saying unto him:

'Behold the state of these luxury hotels which the Persians smote in retaliation for you smiting them.

'Who in the name of arse is going to stay in them now? You've totally ruined our tourist industry, you demented monkey boy.

'Now sod off out of our lands and take all your naval bases and air bases with you. With friends like you, who needs bleeding enemies?

And Donald waxed wrath at this unintended consequence, and wailed and gnashed his teeth for forty days and nights on Fox News. But verily, he had no one to blame but his stupid self.

Here endeth the lesson.

It's called Operation EPIC FURY, here's what they rejected...

Rejected names for the US “War/Award Winning Peace Deal” with Iran:

• Operation Rock Hard Justice

• Operation Suck My Freedom

• Operation Spurting Democracy

• Operation Lets Murder Dem (Racial Slur Redacted)

• Operation Engorged Anger

• Operation Kiss Your Ayatollah Goodbye

• Operation Security Failure – Stop Sharing This On Group Chat

• Special Military Operation II – The Distraction

Putin explains to Trump that he's getting it all wrong

'Look, mate - 

(1) None of this 'Major combat operation'.  Bit of a giveaway, and sounds far too aggressive.  It's always a 'Special military operation.'

(2) You're not attacking a 'foreign country'.  Iran is and always has been an integral part of the United states of America, like Canada, Greenland and Venezuela.  It's just been acting like a breakaway province in recent decades.  But you are liberating it and its people.

(3) Don't just drop bombs on it and fire missiles at it.  Get stuck in, do the job properly, march in and march over people's faces, let the tanks roll in and roll over people, their homes and everything.  And while you're at it, kidnap a few thousand children and drag them away to be brainwashed.

(4) You didn't kill Khamenei.  That would be aggressive and nasty.  The poor feeble old bugger just toppled over and accidentally fell out of a window.

But you've started, so finish.  If all your armed forces are busy in Iran, at least that'll stop you trying to poke your nose into Ukraine, which is absolutely none of your business.

Have a nice day!  - Your mate, Vlad.