'Apparently he has 35% support from American voters,' said a veteran pollster, 'that seems 36% too high.'
With every move the President makes, from starting a war the US can't win to taxing consumers to hurt other countries - both resulting in higher prices, lost jobs and stretched incredulity - the approval rates drops, but by a miniscule amount.
'We're paying nearly $7 a gallon,' shouts a distraught voter, 'that's almost three quarters what Brits pay without war. How can we survive?' he added. 'Our defence export industry is being destroyed by the lack of faith by Europe,' cried a defence broker, before pointing out we had spelled 'defense' incorrectly twice. Apparently it should be spelled 'war'.
'If this continues Trump will be more unpopular than Starmer,' shouted a Reform leader hiding from the UK press. 'Hopefully', he added, crossing his fingers.
