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US government tells Trump haters where he will be buried


"Since President Trump is turning 80 this year, we thought it appropriate to reveal where his burial site will be," said a spokes-crypt for the Federal Cemeteries Commission.


"That is so people can exercise their First Amendment right, in the eventuality of Trump's death, to spit on his grave.


"The location is the Strait of Hormuz Garden of Rest in Utterloosa, Florida - specially renamed to commemorate the place where his political career met its end.


"Insulting the remains of our late, unlamented leader will be a solemn occasion, so we ask the millions of people who have expressed a wish to spit on Trump's grave to book a slot on our website and form an orderly line at the cemetery.


"For VIPs and leading Democrats prepared to pay extra, we will be opening the coffin on the the midnight following Trump's internment so they can drive a stake through his heart.


"That's if he ever had one."



Trump shoots himself in the bonespurs



Donald Trump is undergoing emergency surgery in Bethesda Naval Hospital in Maryland, having shot himself in the bonespurs in his feet.


"This is a common injury amongst Vietnam War draft dodgers like President Trump who suddenly get very brave later in life and start shooting off missiles at Iran," said a Bethesda hospital podiatrist.


"In doing so, they deliver a high velocity bullet at close range right into their goofy, bone-spurred foot.


"They also look like prize chumps because the war they blithely started results in the Strait of Hormuz being blocked and oil prices soaring, crippling the global economy.


"It's a salutary lesson to all overgrown children like Trump," said the podiatrist. "Don't mess around with America's vast arsenal of weapons when you don't know what the hell you're doing."


"Don't talk to me about the Strait of Hormuz," burbled Donald Chump, coming out of sedation.


"No one's in direr straits than me. My straits are the direst there's ever been."



Is this regime change?


As the world watches the US and Israel launch bombs, missiles and snarky text messages at Iran it can't but help wonder - will this bring regime change?


It's a fair question, when you consider that the regime is threatening not only other nations but actively attacks its own population, killing citizens in the street using State sponsored paramilitaries acting above the law while those in charge strip the nation of its immense wealth.


'Yeah, if this doesn't topple Trump, nothing will,' is the popular refrain on the streets. The world can only hope.



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