With injured US servicemen and women on the uptick Walter Reed has had to increase its workload, but the focus on the hospital is currently centred on just one patient.
'We can confirm the President is in attendance for his weekly annual check-up, and his fortnightly one-off colouring test,' said a spokesman for Walter Reed today. 'Nothing to be concerned about, we carry out these routine checks routinely on some Presidents. This President specifically, but we had contingency plans for Ronald Reagan, George Doubl-ya and, well all Republican Presidents in the last sixty years. We just like to make sure the President is in tip-top condition and coloured orange,' added the spokesman.
Some people are saying they aren't going far enough. Well, everybody who isn't a billionaire, an autocratic despot, an arms manufacturer or a crypto scam artist which in many cases could all be the same person, but pretty much everyone else.
'Surely the potential for an accidental lethal dose isn't too much to pray for?' asked a multitude, ranging from ordinary American citizens to ordinary citizens of approximately 160 other nations.
A Walter Reed spokesman said the suggestion was 'unethical' and questioned how any doctor could realistically assess brain stem death anyway.
