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No internet horror-sounds alright


Iran has cut off the internet to its people, prompting wide scale outrage online-which fortunately they don't have to read. Influencers and chat rooms have been furious, while most Iranians read a good book.


This clampdown on CIA sponsored unrest, has meant no spam mail, no clickbait and no toxic posts by Donald Trump. Said one Iranian. 'I know I should miss all that online "democracy", but I now have an extra six hours a day with my friends and family. "


One US General said 'Iranians can't appreciate freedom, unless they are on their cell phones 24/7, in debt to Amazon and monitored by Palantir. How they going to know that America is the greatest if they can't hear Mr Beast?"




Denmark stand up to Trump


Denmark has upped the ante with President Trump by not only sending an advance party of three soldiers to Greenland but by attacking the US in a three pronged economic attack targeted at the President.


Point 1:  Denmark supplies the US with 30% of the insulin it uses.


US response: Ha! The Donald doesn't care because he doesn't know he's type 2 diabetic.  He thinks the daily injection is diet coke.


Point 2:  Denmark supplies the US with 100% of Ozempic.


US response:  Ha!  The Donald doesn't care because he doesn't know he's fat, like really fat.  Hence, see point 1.


Point 3:  Denmark supplies the US with 100% of Lego.


US response:  Ha!  The Donald has other toys to play with, like nuclear missiles.  But he does like building Lego walls on his desk, so maybe he'll relent on the tariffs.




Maybe Greenlanders were the friends we made along the way


In a heart warming end to NATO, the US revealed it had grown emotionally-but also territorially. Trump said. 'The true reward of a quest—is not the achievement itself, but the large mineral deposits in your soul.'


He admitted that the Greenlanders had melted his heart and coincidentally melted their tundra to reveal prime real estate. You can not put a price on friendship he said, but you can put a price on acreage.


He told the Greenlanders they always had the power to return home, it just so happens that home is Kansas. 'Friends are just people who haven't got to know you yet.'




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