Electricians have poured cold water - never a good idea when electricity is involved - on the new Prime Minister's call for a 'circuit breaker' for the entire country. 'It's just not practical,' said Des from Bromley, while putting in a new light above his neighbour's bathroom sink and asking to be paid in cash. 'I can barely keep up with calls as it is. Who's going to install this 'circuit breaker'? How big will it be? Where's it going to be put?'
Those questions remain unanswered, though there is much speculation that the Angel of the North will become the Circuit Breaker of the North. Many say she already looks like a giant electricity pylon with her arms outstretched.
The Prime Minister made the circuit breaker pledge while addressing supporters in Downing Street, a statement reading 'I know people at home are fed up with their smart TVs saying 'power off in three minutes. Press OK to continue watching'. No one understands this. I hear you and I want to be honest with you – the fuses we have been using are not good enough, and we need to be better. Whether three-pin or those awkward two-pin ones for your toothbrush, our plugs deserve to be better, and they will be. This is the moment we pledged a giant circuit breaker that will look after every home and workplace in the country, bringing forward the biggest changes in the last 40 years – a new political model and a new economic model.'
To provide 'breathing space' to alleviate the cost-of-living crisis, the Prime Minister has also promised a free Bunsen Burner for every council home in the country. The move has led to speculation that Burnham is modelling his ideas on state schools of the Seventies and Eighties. This view is backed up by Burnham's announcement that members of his Cabinet are to be called prefects. Each Cabinet minister will also have their own locker.
