Rejected names for the US “War/Award Winning Peace Deal” with Iran:
Operation Rock Hard Justice
Operation Suck My Freedom
Operation Spurting Democracy
Operation Lets Murder Dem (Racial Slur Redacted)
Operation Engorged Anger
Operation Kiss Your Ayatollah Goodbye
Operation Security Failure – Stop Sharing This On Group Chat
Special Military Operation II – The Distraction
'Look, mate -
(1) None of this 'Major combat operation'. Bit of a giveaway, and sounds far too aggressive. It's always a 'Special military operation.'
(2) You're not attacking a 'foreign country'. Iran is and always has been an integral part of the United states of America, like Canada, Greenland and Venezuela. It's just been acting like a breakaway province in recent decades. But you are liberating it and its people.
(3) Don't just drop bombs on it and fire missiles at it. Get stuck in, do the job properly, march in and march over people's faces, let the tanks roll in and roll over people, their homes and everything. And while you're at it, kidnap a few thousand children and drag them away to be brainwashed.
(4) You didn't kill Khamenei. That would be aggressive and nasty. The poor feeble old bugger just toppled over and accidentally fell out of a window.
But you've started, so finish. If all your armed forces are busy in Iran, at least that'll stop you trying to poke your nose into Ukraine, which is absolutely none of your business.
Have a nice day! - Your mate, Vlad.
In a bold pre-emptive strike, the US has destroyed all paedo/cannibal headlines for at least 24 hours. Tehran will be the lucky recipients of distraction missiles and a large explosion of smoke and mirrors.
A Pentagon spokeswoman confirmed: 'The people of Iran will lay down their lives, so President Trump can have his peni$ redacted. The only thing that can save them are aliens-as that's an even bigger story.'
While a short campaign is preferred, this may change if Iran defends itself or if rumours of Donald Trump, Woody Allen and Mickey Mouse surface.
