Oh, the grand old Duke of York,
He had ten thousand gaffs,
He stacked them up til they hit the news,
And he tried to shut them down
And when they were news, they were news,
And when they were gagged, they were gagged,
And when they are only halfway gagged,
They're a nightmare for the crown
Image credit: Titanic Belfast, CC BY 2.0 <https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0>, via Wikimedia Commons. Text added.
New music streaming app Swiftify has launched, dedicated entirely to the music of Taylor Swift. Users can listen to songs from a vast library of albums - albeit most of them feature the same songs just with different cover art - and explore music from the many genres which Taylor has toyed with over her multi decade career.
Swiftify Chief Exec Bradley Brady said, '90% of all music streams are of the top 1% of artistes, and 50% are of Taylor, probably. So we figured just cut out the rest. Like we say in showbiz, be nice to the little people on your way up - then dump 'em.'
The app also features an AI tool to generate abusive social media messages for 'Swifties' to send to 'haters'. At press time, it had already suffered its first crash, when someone registered under the username Big Machine Records.
Meanwhile, plans to launch another app dedicated entirely to the music of Harry Styles have been put on hold following an appeal under the Geneva Convention.
Image credit: perchance.org
With strikes and gunshots again heard in all across Palestine again, an Israeli spokesperson has claimed today that they and Hamas, 'were on a break.'
'It’s all fine, we were on a break,' said Ben Bronten, an IDF official. 'We took some time out to see if we were over it all, and clearly we’re not. We both still have a lot of pent-up emotion, and that is going to come up in unexpected gunfire and missile strikes sometimes.”
He went on to point out that sometimes truces were fragile and the opposites sides would have the occasional flare-up.
'Look, sometimes passions lead to the re-blockading of aid; multiple rocket strikes on seemingly non-miltary targets; and a teensy-weensy bit of quasi invading. It’s perfectly natural. We’ll all be holding hands by November. As long as Hamas keeps their wandering eyes off those Hezbollah floozies.'
Picture credit: perchance.org
