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Reform campaign for bots to get universal suffrage

'Bots are such an integral part of daily life,' said a spokesman, possibly an AI agent, for Reform UK Ltd, 'that it's impossible to imagine daily debate on social media without them'.


'How else would we know who is a retard? Where would we learn that someone posing seemingly sensible fiscal arguments to Reform policy is actually a leftist moron, cry harder, voting Reform anyway?' he/it added.


'All we are suggesting is that every constituency has 100,000 bots given the vote. Do we need to blockchain ourselves to virtual railings to make our point?' the bot asked.



Don't not believe anything unless you didn't read it on X

In a world where previously trusted news sources are being dismissed, ranging from the BBC to Angela from number 14, it is increasingly important that you verify and dismiss anything you read or hear.


'The evidence of your eyes is increasingly unreliable,' stated a spokesperson from Specsavers, 'and if what we've heard is true you can't believe anything you hear,' he added.  The sense of smell is overwhelmed and the sense of touch is over-rated.  'Don't put too much reliance on so-called common sense either,' said a man who claimed to hold the most reliable polling stats.  'Someone will win the by-election in Manchester,' he claimed, adding, 'but they will probably jump party, county and gender almost immediately,'


Consequently most people get their news from social media or, failing that, anti-social media previously known as X. Most don't believe what they read and the rest don't actually read.  Or can't, you choose.


This report has been fact checked by AI and found to be 100% accurate, so please ignore - but not before posting online.



David Icke has better judgement than Starmer

Despite being mocked in the main stream press about his paranoid fantasies, Mr. Icke now has now an impressive success record in identifying wrong ‘uns, while Mr. Starmer has a 100% success rate of appointing them to his Cabinet. One man has spent the last decade indulging in a conspiracy theory about global elite sex-cannibals, the other has spent the last decade covering it up for them.


Sir Keir has repeatedly refused to prosecute traffickers and murderers, whereas the only thing Mr. Icke did wrong was playing goal keeper for Coventry. Admittedly Mr. Icke has been accused of genocide denial, while Sir Keir just helped do one.


When every senior colleague of Sir Keir appears in the Epstein files, you have to wonder is he just kinky for money-laundering psychopaths - although - who isn’t? Said a No.10 spokeswoman: “You might know him as a baby eating lizard, but we just know him as Peter.”




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