FunkyPigeon create Mandelson/Epstein birthday card

The card can be personalized to feature any sex island of your choice. The list of images are all incredibly tasteful- they include Peter Mandelson laughing with a sex criminal, Peter Mandelson shopping with a sex criminal or Peter Mandelson appearing on TV pretending he never met the guy.

The "my best pal" range has a Mandelson selection of Kompromat messages. It offers a variety of fonts - all of them bloody. And can be translated into English or Israeli depending on which intelligence group you are lobbying for. The cards feature best wishes with all endeavours - "I hear you are to be assassinated in prison - Get Well Soon" "I hear your recently slept with Prince Andrew- Happy 14th birthday" and the every popular "I hear you are the biggest creep in the entire world - Good Luck with new job as Ambassador to the US".

image from Google Gemini

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Starmer denies muddle & confusion

The Prime Minister has stated that, following the completion of his latest cabinet re-shuffle, things are now completely sorted out and totally organised within the government.

'Let me be absolutely clear about this' announced Sir Keir 'I have now completed my duck re-arrangement, and all that remains is for me to finish getting my deck-chairs in a row.' 

image from pixabay

Iguana's rare 'virgin birth' shocks Catholic Church

The pope has asked everyone to treat lizards with respect, in case one of those born in a Telford zoo from a virgin mother might be the second coming of Jesus.

In other religious news, The Catholic Herald is demanding the Chancellor tells the meek how much inheritance tax they will be liable for.

image created by Google Gemini

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