Jenrick just missed his besties

While many are accusing Robert Jenrick of blatant opportunism, a trait almost unheard of (outside of the Tories), the truth is that he is missing his besties.  Politics is a lonely profession, especially when the politician is a c@nt, but Jenrick being Jenrick it seems he has issues with forming bonds outside of planning permission scams, allegedly.

He misses Mad Nad dearly, obviously, and who wouldn't want to meet up with Johnathan Gullis and Andrea Jenkins?  Don't be shy.  OK, consider that rhetorical.  And while you're at the bar, don't forget to buy 30p Lee a pint while he explains how anyone not on expenses can survive on a pound a week. Danny Kruger will bring the cakes, obviously, and then, with luck Liz Truss will complete the party by bringing salad components.  Hopefully they will last longer this time.

Don't berate Honest Bob, treat him with sympathy, he's been lonely on the benches.  Unloved and unwanted.  Hopefully good practise for the next few years then.

Ed Davey still posting on X

Ed Davey, the stunt prone leader of the Lib Dems, has been posting in X, formerly Twitter, about the sacking of Robert 'how do printers work?' Jenrick.

Many commentators are surprised by Ed Davey's position. 'X is pretty toxic these days,' said a known pervert. 'If you're still using X, then everyone will think you're using Grok to make nude pictures, or kiddie porn, or worse. There's no point in posting a serious comment on X any more. Ed Davey has just embarrassed himself.

What next? Posting the manifesto on MySpace?

'It's not worth taking the decorations down now'

A significant minority of UK households still have their Christmas decorations up. With the start of Christmas occurring earlier and earlier, many British citizens are arguing that unless the decorations are taken down on Boxing Day at the latest it's hardly worth the effort of stripping them down, removing all the batteries, boxing them up, carrying them up to the attic and putting them in front of the boxes holding the Easter bunnies and the Halloween artifacts. 

'By the time I've taken them up I'll be moving all the boxes to gain access to the Easter tat,' said Bill today. 'Then before you know it the skeletons, plastic pumpkins and the tacky Halloween wreaths will need to be brought out, then - wham! it's August and the Christmas tree needs to be pushed back into use,' Bill added.  'So I leave the tree up all year round.  It frees up a load of space in the attic for other stuff like the sofa, armchairs and plants.  A bit of a win-win, really,' he said.