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Putin promises no more wars, if Europe respects Russia


Putin has promised there will be no more wars, if Europe respects Russia.


His spokesman went on to explain that respect, in this context, means not objecting when Russia takes entire countries that Russia thinks it rightfully owns because it conquered them once before. And not offering them military assistance and funding. Also respecting Russia's plans to make Europe dependent on Russian resources like oil and gas. And not developing weapons that could counter Russia's weapons, such as anti-missile systems and nuclear missiles. And not stationing them anywhere near Russia's borders. And not even having the ability to cut off Russia's maritime access through the Baltic or the Black Sea or the Arctic. And not suggesting that Russia's occupation of Georgian territory, or Chechnya, is in any way wrong or unjustified. And not even talking about human rights in Russia. And not harboring Russian opposition figures. And allowing Russia to fund lobbying and bribes in our political systems.


You know, the usual respecty things, like in Goodfellas.


And this time, Putin is definitely not lying, whatever you might have been told he has promised in the past.



Has-Been Habits Museum educates citizens


The Has-Been Habits Museum, a museum of habits no longer strictly observed, is planned to be built near London if funding is found. A possible location could be an old medieval castle.


The British are known for their politeness and respect for others. Although they can be reserved at times, they are nevertheless full of genuine kindness and understanding, with a touch of humour. This has always been the case, but has anything changed over time? Is there even a noticeable change in the direction of rudeness?


‘Yes, it is, it really is. No citizen with healthy eyesight and perception can fail to notice this,’ says etiquette and behaviour expert, Monsieur Mylan Dupond, of French origin. ’For this reason, I am seeking funding for a new educational institution whose mission is to remind people of good old-fashioned, responsible behaviour.’


Monsieur Dupond doesn't reveal all the details, but he does mention one of the most important ones publicly. It has to do with the declining queuing culture: 'The Queueing Simulator: An interactive exhibit where visitors practice standing in a perfectly straight, silent line for absolutely no reason at all.’


The plans also include The Gallery of Vanishing Social Graces, The Hall of Hats, a swear-free zone, and a comprehensive afternoon tea menu that politely takes into account all members of the party.

 

The museum doesn't just rely on examples from the past. The museum's souvenir shop sells ‘passive-aggressive messages’ to neighbours who leave their trash out for too long—a modern evolution of these ‘lost’ habits.


Critics of the project noted the omission of tutting. And raised eyebrows.



Hat tip to writingbsl



Image created with the help of Gemini AI


US Government roll out new ESTA applications


On Tuesday, the US. Government is expected to rollout a new version of the ESTA Waiver process. Applicants will now be required to not only fill out an extensive history of their history including their mother's maiden name, but also favourite pets, account numbers, sort codes and the last three digits on the back of every bank card for every account they've ever had.


In addition to these, there will be the infinitely more reasonable need for their dogs names, their dogs parents names, a complete genealogical history dating back to c. 1400 (extended back further to any nefarious involvement in the Peasants' Revolt where appropriate) their phone number, their mums' friend Barbra's phone number and a thesis on the origin of the universe (SHOW YOUR WORKING).


Trump claims that this is to "Fight Illegal Aliens" entering the country. Critics have said that he is yet to provide any examples of why this would in any way help. He has gone on to claim that this is a new tariff, this time on the movement of tourists into the U.S.A. "We all thought this was a Very Good idea, Very Good idea. Entering this country should be a privilege that only the best should have access to." When asked whether he'll have access to this information, he claimed our reporters were "Losers" from the "Lame Stream Media" and went on a rant on Truth Social.


Travel industry analysts warn that the new form may deter some visitors, particularly those who prefer not to hand over the details needed to empty their bank accounts.


The US Department of Homeland Security has declined to comment, though insiders suggest the next update to the ESTA may include a request for travellers’ PIN numbers and the answers to all future security questions they don’t know they’ll be asked yet.


Author: youngbsl



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