Conspiracy theorists are starting to doubt their core beliefs that JFK was murdered by the CIA, aliens run Centerparcs and that the Matrix was a kiss and tell story based on reality.
'Hasbro have played a long game,' said a leading conspiracy theorist, noting that the board game Risk actually does tend to go on a bit. 'We're all bit part players in the a global version of Risk, with Russia not noticing that Ukraine swapped the red dice for loaded versions that always end up on a one or two. Trump is, predictably, throwing seventeen dice each throw instead of the usual three when attacking, and he's hidden the Greenland card under the board so nobody can see it until he decides to have a go,' he added.
If Trump gets the US, Canada and Greenland and holds them for a full game turn they get an extra two hundred thousand soldiers at the start of the next round, which to be fair they'll need when they roll their dice at Venezuela.
