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TitusScam Homeopathic Wellfullness Tablets


These are supplied - eventually - probably, and at additional cost - in the form of an empty box which used to contain the tablets.  However they are about to be superseded by a mega-powerful new treatment, which we can prove is definitely even more effective because it's far more expensive.  This consists of an empty box which used to contain tablets made from the boxes which used to contain early versions of the homeopathic wellfullness tablets.


Our researchers (who are homeopathic scientists, i.e., people who know someone who know someone else whose great-grandfather's next-door neighbour's milkman's brother-in-law always wanted to be a scientist) are now working on an exciting, top-secret new development.  This will involve the boxes which used to contain tablets only taken by people who always steadfastly refused to accept any form of vaccination - the ultimate, vaccine resistant homeopathic wellfullness treatment.


This has been highly recommended by US Health Secretary Kennedy and is expected to be endorsed by President Trump - provided there is no risk that any qualified person who has the faintest idea what they are talking about might possibly ever describe all this as anything other than a complete load of bollosck.



Dictator Tromp Issues Executive Order

Dictator Tromp, of Trompaloonyland, has today signed an Executive Order making it illegal to walk forwards. As of tomorrow morning, all citizens will be required to walk backwards. Dictator Tromp is an advocate of walking backwards, since his gold medal win at the Trompaloonyland Athletics Championship two years ago.


His critics, before they disappeared, accused Dictator Tromp of underhanded tactics and the other competitors were killed in accidents the night before the final. For example one competitor stabbed himself in the head, 14 times, while combing his hair, and the other cut off his leg, while trimming his toe-nails, and bled to death.


Dictator Tromp gave a TV address yesterday in which he defended his Executive Order from international criticism. Dictator Tromp stated, “It’s my order not yours, so there Mr Poopy Pants.”


This is not the first time Dictator Tromp has received international criticism.


In the previous three years he has received criticism for suggesting: wearing a dead squirrel on your head is a fashion statement; eating coal is good for the environment; marrying a Llama is good for the human gene pool; and chewing armpit hair cures gout.


Dictator Tromp, lives in a 56 bedroomed mansion, with his wife, and pet giraffe ‘Lofty’. The house was previously an asylum for narcissistic megalomaniacs. Dictator Tromp lived at the asylum for two years, but has stated he was never a patient he lived there while researching his book, How to Takeover the World which he insists it was a work of fiction and not a plan for world domination, adding, “The world deserves me, the world needs me, no-one else is good enough, only me. I’m worth ten of everyone else, maybe more.”


Dictator Tromp, was unavailable, for further comment. His spokesman, Lenny ‘the leg breaker’, Killum-Quik, said, 'If that’s, what the boss wants, that’s what, the boss gets, got it, mush face?'


Author: deejaygo1887



Outrage that Ellie Kildunne isn't homosexual or transgender


There is outrage that Ellie Kildunne is just a bloody good rugby player and appears to be neither homosexual, transgender, transsexual, nonbinary nor a ranting feminist. Neither is she black or even foreign - being from Yorkshire doesn't really count. As one outraged campaigner said, 'How DARE she not be any of those things? Hasn't she got any self-respect?


A Daily Mail spokesman raged that Ellie is left handed. Left - bloody - handed!


H/T to Deskpilot



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