"The last chairman of the Office of Budget Responsibility had to go for being very irresponsible and not agreeing with me," said chancellor Rachel Reeves, stamping her foot and sounding like Queenie in Black Adder.
"He refused to tell people that my policies for growing the economy were working and making Britain rich, traitorously arguing that the figures weren't showing that.
"This is despite me launching sure-fire policies such as: taxing people more so they have less to spend in the shops or invest in their businesses, wishing upon a star and drawing pentangles on the floor, not to mention panicking the City by sacking the head of the OBR.
"To mark a new beginning," continued Reeves, flourishing a sceptre, "I have appointed my pet hamster, Black Wednesday, to be the new OBR chief. He's the only creature in the country guaranteed not to ask awkward questions when I spell out my wonderful economic quickfixes."
"Black Wednesday will be a perfect fit for this government," chuckled a Man in Red Braces in a City dealing room as his colleagues sold off UK government bonds by the tanker-load.
"It runs very fast on a treadmill getting nowhere, and it's been busy storing up provisions to face the really appalling times that we will all be living through under this useless government very soon indeed."
Image: mordilla-net - Pixabay
