With the news that the hero who put his life in danger in the Huntington attack is a Muslim Algerian immigrant, Reform Ltd has stated it will have a policy of 'true British heroes only' when they come to power.
'Obviously we can't deport them all on day one,' said a Reform spokesman looking nervously to gauge if he'd misrepresented anything Nigel Farage had said (he had), 'But we can allocate their bravery to an indigenous Brit, probably a name supplied by Tommy Robinson,' he said.
'Once we have sent every immigrant back to where they come from, or if they are British born, to where their parents come from, or their parents' parents etc, then we won't have to rely on non-immigrant heroes.
'Of course we won't have enough British people to carry out mundane jobs like train conductor, so passengers will, obviously, have to stand up and be British heroes. I repeat there won't be any jobs filled by non-true-British people,' he said, admitting that Zia Yusef's role as unelected spokesperson for Reform would have to go to a British-born halfwit instead. 'We've only got five MPs, but we don't believe we'll struggle to find a replacement out of them,' he said.
