A report in to the UK’s whimsey levels show that reserves are at their lowest level since the end of World War 2.
“It’s somewhat of a crisis”, said Sir Brian Peckworth, the UK’s Lead Whimsey Auditor, “I’ve never known anything like this in all my whimsical career. Over 65s whimsey is still quite strong but 17 and under are in the worst state it’s ever been. And all this for a nation that used to pride it self on its whimsey. It’s saddens me greatly.”
He noted that non-event perfume application was high in the seniors brackets but functional application of brands such as Lynx was high with youth but lacked any notable whimsey. Odd sock wearing; novelty soap and butter dishes; traditional hat wearing; everyday lapel flowers; and blowing bubbles for the over 35s have all seen a huge dip in the last 20 years sending the whimsey levels spiralling.
Mr Peckworth implored Britons to embrace their eccentricities and whimsey by buying and wearing novelty brooches and badges; sporting a diamond tipped cane; using words such as ‘forsooth’ and ‘egads!’ on an everyday basis; and generally accepting fanciful ideas into their lives such as magic, surrealism and Brexit.
