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On Tuesday, the US. Government is expected to rollout a new version of the ESTA Waiver process. Applicants will now be required to not only fill out an extensive history of their history including their mother's maiden name, but also favourite pets, account numbers, sort codes and the last three digits on the back of every bank card for every account they've ever had.


In addition to these, there will be the infinitely more reasonable need for their dogs names, their dogs parents names, a complete genealogical history dating back to c. 1400 (extended back further to any nefarious involvement in the Peasants' Revolt where appropriate) their phone number, their mums' friend Barbra's phone number and a thesis on the origin of the universe (SHOW YOUR WORKING).


Trump claims that this is to "Fight Illegal Aliens" entering the country. Critics have said that he is yet to provide any examples of why this would in any way help. He has gone on to claim that this is a new tariff, this time on the movement of tourists into the U.S.A. "We all thought this was a Very Good idea, Very Good idea. Entering this country should be a privilege that only the best should have access to." When asked whether he'll have access to this information, he claimed our reporters were "Losers" from the "Lame Stream Media" and went on a rant on Truth Social.


Travel industry analysts warn that the new form may deter some visitors, particularly those who prefer not to hand over the details needed to empty their bank accounts.


The US Department of Homeland Security has declined to comment, though insiders suggest the next update to the ESTA may include a request for travellers’ PIN numbers and the answers to all future security questions they don’t know they’ll be asked yet.


Author: youngbsl




A pub in Clacton appears to have led the wave of pubs that are refusing to serve MPs.  Most of the recent pubs have specified Labour MPs, but some can't spell Labour so have left it a bit more generic. 


Most landlords quietly admit they wouldn't recognise their MP if he or she walked in anyway as the last election was over a year ago and they weren't in when the prospective candidates knocked on their front door.


It transpires that the initiative started in Clacton, nearly eighteen months ago.  The landlord hasn't changed his point of view but as nobody has seen their MP anywhere in Clacton since the election it seemed a waste of window space.


image from google gemini


A new European sports competition has been conceived and could start soon. The idea has been tested for years and the name for the new concept has already been registered.


'The name European Sport Contest was chosen after careful consideration,’ says Mr. Daniel Davidson, chief engineer and financier of the idea.


'I don't deny that the Eurovision Song Contest, in its name, had an influence on the naming decision,’ Davidson clarifies.


According to Davidson, the song contest can be thanked for the new sporting event, as the basic idea of ​​both is that the name does not have to correspond to the content.


Davidson, a failed singer and a poorly accomplished athlete, has already designed the basic framework for the European Sport Contest. According to the plan, athletic performance is not important, but athletes and teams should dress in eye-catching outfits and draw attention to the spectacularity of their performance. For example, a pole vaulter gets the most points if, after crossing the bar, he continues to fly like a bird over the stadium.


'Let me clarify the basic idea. For example, in the pole vault, the highest clearance, or result, is not important. Voters and political juries in different countries decide who wins. Their vote is decisive, not the sporting performance.


image from google gemini


author: Emerick Meriwether

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