Rachel Reeves defends accepting free tickets to Sabrina Carpenter concert

Rachel Reeves has defended her attendance as a Sabrina Carpenter gig, saying that the tickets were of no value to her.

She thought she was getting tickets to see The Carpenters, and accepted them to highlight the issue of eating disorders.  She said that she wasn’t aware that Karen Carpenter had died some while ago, and expressed her condolences.

When it became clear that Sabrina Carpenter was neither related to The Carpenters, nor a tribute act, it was too late to send the tickets back without seeming rude or ungrateful.   The Chancellor therefore reluctantly accepted the advice of her staff that she should go ahead and attend the concert.   She confirmed that she had not enjoyed it at all, and would never want to repeat the experience.

Rachel Reeves is 46.

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Sir Keir Starmer to unveil new upgraded State Visit Package – Gold Edition

For those frequent State Visit clients, why not upgrade your experience to create unforgettable memories in a haven of refined elegance and sycophantic obedience?

Buckingham Palace invites you to submerge yourself in unparalleled luxury with a total absence of legal scrutiny. Indulge in personalized service, with a bespoke state banquet catered by a cornucopia of American fast-food outlets.

Play a round of golf at one of the many elitist courses that can be segregated in all manner of different ways at your request. Includes 24-hour use of the Royal Ball Washer.

One journalist can be picked by the client and sent to the Tower of London. Hilarity will ensue.

Meet with likeminded individuals to discuss private islands and removing names from flight logs to your hearts content.

You will spend time with King Charles version 3.0, maybe not as humorous as his grandfather, but still highly skilled in inane flattery and feigned interest.

The Royal Carriage will have improved suspension to allow for an increased weight capacity and will now include a plethora of hand stitched leather cup holders.

A special inspection of the guard of honour is available, all soldiers will be tested to ensure that they remain professional with a loaded firearm so close to your vicinity. If you would like ammunition removed and for them to use rubber bayonets, this can be accommodated for.

This week only, a complementary extra-long tie with ermine finish.

Podcaster works from his bathroom

A popular podcaster, who set up a studio in his bathroom, was apparently unaware his popularity may be down to the fact his partner is often showering behind him.

Newsbiscuit contacted the man, who asked us not to mention his name for tax purposes, if he was aware his audience were more interested in his partner’s naked body than his right-wing rants and swastika patterned shower curtain; and in any event it was difficult to hear what he had to say with the noise the shower makes, along with the occasional flushing of the lavatory, but he pointed out it was the only place in his flat he had sufficient space for a studio.

He did, however, thank us for our interest in Reform UK and hopes our article will encourage more people to vote for his party.

Photo by Jukka Aalho on Unsplash