Misunderstanding sees Redditch man wait twelve hours to be served in Starbucks

Brian Wilson from Redditch was kept waiting in Starbucks for over twelve hours after entering the shop with the intention of buying a coffee and sandwich for his breakfast.

He explains: "Can I get a latte and sausage sandwich?" I said ," the barista confirmed I could, but instead of getting my stuff she moved on to the next person in line. I was then left standing there for twelve hours while the team served a succession of customers.'

Part-time crew member and undergraduate student reading English at Oxford, Jocasta Smythe-Cramlington commented: 'I told Mr Wilson, yes, he could certainly get those items. But the thing is... at no time did he actually ask for them.

'We're always rammed with customers placing orders so I needed to get on and serve them or I'd have my manager on my back. People can't expect me to have psychic powers.'

In the end Brian never got his coffee and sandwich because by the time he actually said: 'Can I order a latte and sausage bap, please?" it was 7.15pm and they'd sold out so he went for a kebab instead.

Photo by AK on Unsplash

Porton Down fined for creating unhealthy workplace

Porton Down, the science and defence technology campus in Wiltshire, has been fined after health and safety inspectors left with a damning report, not to mention fever, headaches and vomiting.

In their report they state that they found employees constantly off sick with a variety of ailments. This seems to be down to a workplace culture, which was found growing successfully in a petri dish in the staff room fridge. There were a number of seizures.

An anonymous researcher confirmed they were plagued by health and safety regulation. “Only the other day I fell foul of a body fluid spill regulation. Honestly, I had tissues to hand.”

A senior official at Porton Down told us they couldn’t comment as they had a throat infection, so at this stage it is unclear who is going to cough up for the fine.

Image: Pixabay/ PublicDomainPictures

Commons select committee 'reluctantly' exonerates Taylor Swift

A cross party select committee has reluctantly concluded that Taylor Swift hasn't been awarded a multi-billion pound contract to supply the government with faulty goods, that there is zero evidence that she has been offered let alone accepted a plum job advising the government on how to privatise the NHS to her benefit, nor is there any reason to believe HOLAC, the House of Lords Appointments Commission has had any reason to accept or reject a peerage nomination for Ms Swift despite her being far more relevant than, say, Charlotte Owen.

The select committee spokesperson says they have been trying very, very hard to support the outrage being fuelled by mainstream media but deny their diligence is directly proportional to the fact that they comprise the sum total of MPs who didn't get offered tickets.

Image:Pixabay/ al_si