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Writer's pictureNewsBiscuit
Jun 13

White privilege is changing the TV scheduling and then thinking you solved racism.





Gesture politics is being used as an act of misdirection, to mask continued abuses; as if Paul Daniels had pulled a rabbit out of a hat, while surreptitiously kicking Nelson Mandela in the balls. As well-meaning at it may be, banning one episode from a 1970’s sitcom, does not make up for 2,000 years of racism. Worryingly, TV executives seem to think that casting an African American in a dating show, means that somehow, we are ‘quits’ when it comes to slavery. 


Being offered the fig-leaf of diversity in a fictional movie, should not make up for having your history erased in real life. Said one BBC executive: ‘I understand the concerns of the black community and we want to offer appropriate reparation – and in that spirit, I offer you these shiny, glass beads and a walk on part in Casualty.’




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Writer's pictureNewsBiscuit
Jun 11

Mrs Brown's Boys in ‘laughter avoidance’ scheme.



Three of the cast of ‘Mrs Brown's Boys’ have been found to have deliberately avoided humour for years; relying on bogus laughter-returns and a fake bank account under the name ‘K.Dodd’. The scheme involves sending any vestiges of entertainment offshore, only to loan it back, in the form 1970’s banter. Similar comedy avoidance schemes have ensnared Jimmy Carr, by getting him to appear on ‘Countdown’. While for many the line between comedy evasion and comedy avoidance is often blurred, or simply James Corden.



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Writer's pictureNewsBiscuit
Jun 9

Rudy Giuliani was not pleasuring himself, he was just applying hand sanitizer gel.




The lawyer for Trump’s personal lawyer explained: ‘Medical experts will attest that the men were administering emergency Covid protection, with a happy ending. As we know, Covid affects the penis first. If you think you may have been infected, its vital that smear the nether region in copious amounts of alcoholic lubricant. Ideally, in close proximity to a pretty lady-nurse – just in case you need a second opinion or a hand.’


Through a series of graphs and dick-pics scientists showed how thanks to the quick thinking of Giuliani many lives were saved, and teenage pregnancies avoided. Asked if Mr. Giuliani’s actions would embarrass the Trump campaign, an incredulous spokeswoman said: ‘Have you met the candidate?’


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