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A pair of upper class YouTube stars are being hailed as heroes after devising an ingenious method for money saving during a time of financial instability for many families. Coining it ‘LowWaitrose’, their suggestion is that struggling households can save important pennies by limiting how much they shop at Waitrose supermarkets. In a new video the pair described this trick with their distinctly Etonian accents:


‘It’s a universal feeling to enjoy a good Waitrose shop, but we actually saved money by getting our groceries from places other than Waitrose - a huge life hack I’m not sure many families are aware of. It will still be there for your essential grocery items, like a Duck Parfait or Truffle Oil, but we think limiting your Waitrose exposure could really make a dent in this cost of living crisis. We even came across this niche German supermarket called Lidl and let me tell you the mini-pizzas are sublime.’


The online stars then went on to describe how even though they personally didn’t need to change their shopping habits, they understand how many people are affected by the soaring food prices.


‘While we can more than afford to get a Waitrose Finest Bronze Turkey on a regular basis, we understand how for so many people that dream has become really difficult. You should really be in the loop about a place called Sainsbury’s, even though you might not find us shopping there.’


On social media the YouTubers hinted that in their next video they would be tackling the NHS waiting lists by using Private Healthcare.



image from pixabay



First published 28 Nov 2023


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The Israeli Donald Trump, Benjamin Netanyahu, has been accused of prank calling the 'How's My Driving?' number stuck on the back of lorries that are delivering humanitarian aid to Gaza.

As the phone rang yet again in her office, temp Amy Armstrong sighed and rolled her eyes 'Hello again Mr Netanyahu... No, I don't think those four lorries are deliberately forming the shape of a Swastika... we'd actually rather you didn't rain down the wrath of Abraham on our vehicles... well the lorries' sat navs are saying "from the river to the sea" because they’re having to rely on natural landmarks... well that's because you’ve bombed all the addresses in Gaza off Google Maps... Yes, well that is a lot of plagues isn't it... Alright then, well enjoy the humanitarian pause for reloading.'

Armstrong made herself a tea, before adding 'It makes a change from calls about tailgating on the M6.'


image from pixabay



First published 27 Nov 2023


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We know that much of what they say is already scripted, but by applying cutting edge AI technology the government will ensure no more mistakes of the "I miss-spoke" kind.


Other benefits include increased efficiency, 24/7 operation and reduced reliance on alcohol before appearing on BBC Question Time.


The system will sample speeches and replies from the archive, analyse and filter these and then produce a suitable output. Obviously it will be necessary to ensure nothing ever said by Dominic Raab goes in.


The whole project is being run by an offshoot of the cabinet office, known only by the codeword "project drone".




First published 26 Nov 2022


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