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A footballer was surrounded by chest beating team-mates after winning a throw-in somewhere near the half way line.


Fans near the touchline said the throw-in celebrations reminded them of the rebel rousing speech given by Mel Gibson to his troops during the film Braveheart…only with better acting.


Players beat their chests, bellowed pledges of loyalty to the badge and roared defiantly at the assistant referee for not putting his flag up sooner.


The player who won the throw-in was greeted with chest bumps and high fives from team mates and the goalkeeper ran 40 yards to kiss his forehead.


Fans started singing the players name and pundits in the studio said winning the throw-in had probably added an extra £15m to his transfer valuation.


Social media was soon ablaze with conspiracy theories surrounding the incident with some fans claiming the throw-in was taken from the wrong place resulting in the referee receiving death threats from opposition fans.


When play resumed the player took the throw-in near the half way line and the ball was played back to the goal keeper.


Fans can see the winning throw-in on Match of the Day this evening or on iPlayer if they miss the show live.


Have your say : Was it a throw in or did the assistant referee get the decision wrong?


Image: Pixabay/



Comedy Writer A: That idea you had yesterday, the one about that Top Secret Meeting, how’s it going?


Comedy Writer B: Well, it needs fleshing out, but so far, I just had, like, a Trump lackey setting up a Top-Secret video meeting and some random dude is just in there. Could be about invading Switzerland for their gold.


A: Ha yeah, totally wrong number, nice. A random person can’t just get on a secure call though… and they’d just be seen straight away, what about an e-mail chain?


B: Good point, a wrong email address is possible, maybe JPVance@hotcouch.com or PeteBegseth@foxnews.com The format might not be easy to make it funny enough, could a text chat work? You know, little messages popping up….


A: Difficult to add a rando in, might have to gloss over that. Also, if it’s a secret chat, there must be all sorts of rules for that. You might get to sell it by saying it’s low-level Trump mooks doing it, not knowing how things work.


B: Unqualified losers or hired family members maybe, what about Eric and Don Junior, thinking they are all involved like?


A: Everyone knows they are just an utter joke anyway, bit too easy. What about Tulsi Gabbard not trusting CIA secure communications and using WhatsApp?


B: Snorts just imagine…..you could have Hegseth in there treating it as a Fox News work chat, bragging about a new secret jet or how he is going to invade Mexico and build a military base in Cancun for Spring break


A: JD Vance would be desperate enough to want to be involved in anything, like proper desperate….he’d be texting “I’m important too, I’m so involved”


B: I mean, this starts to become really high level national security, hasn’t it? If we go too daft it loses it a bit….should we tone it down? I mean, is this on their own phones?


A: Hmmmm, can’t make that work. Needs thinking about. What about the rando, what if they are something proper stupid…..Russian spy? Too obvious?


A: Influencer? Live streaming?


B: Excellent. What about a reporter of ….The Washington Post? Thinking Woodward or Bernstein …unexpected DeepThroat?


A: Come on…that would be insane


B: The story next day would be…. mass resignations, everyone involved… just gone


A: Yeah, wishful thinking.


B: Anyway, no rush on this, I’ll put something together after St. Patricks Day





A Hollywood legend has passed. Colleagues waxed lyrical in the blandest of terms. Friends spoke of his untimely death caused by a lifestyle of doing things that will kill you. Followed by gushing tributes from people he owed money to.


Fortunately his obituary provided a translation for those not versed in Hollywood speak, he was described as a loving husband (meaning gay). A devoted father (so a cuckold then). The life and soul (a drunk). An Artist (unprofitable). A Visionary (bat $hit crazy). And uncompromising (definitely racist).


One Director described him as a mercurial talent (which means always late for work). An Action Hero (so he couldn't act). A Heartthrob (he definitely couldn't act). And was a firm Fan's favourite (so, hated by cast and crew).


He was one of the greats - old school (so a nonce, basically).



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