7 more adolescent shows that should be showed in every school

After the success of hard-hitting Netflix drama Adolescence, Keir Starmer announced that the programme would be made available to all secondary schools to stream for free for educational purposes. But why stop there? Here are 7 archive shows featuring adolescents that should be compulsory viewing for schoolkids and adults alike:

Why Don't You - a 1980s school summer holiday stalwart, this programme still contains many nuggets of useful information for contemporary schoolkids on how to navigate teenage life, including where to find the best free museum day outs in Bristol, how to make a walkie-talkie with a piece of string and two bog rolls, and (from the Belfast and Newcastle teams only) the best fil-terms to watch at the local cinema. Parental warnings: Includes gratuitous violence of TV sets being destroyed by a kicking foot in every episode, as well as some criminal bowl haircuts. 

Grange Hill - ever wondered what school life is really like in an inner-city comprehensive? Grange Hill  has all the answers, along with a catchy jangly them-tune and some trendy comic-book style opening credits.  From Zammo McGuire 'chasing the dragon', Gripper Stebson and Imelda Davis' peak-level bullying, and Mr Bronson's nazi-style teaching and moustache, kids today could learn a lot from this Phil Redmond classic. Watch out for flying sausages on a fork, and remember to Just Say No. 

Tuckers Luck - basically Grange Hill on steroids, with teenage pregnancies, mass unemployment, and the harsh reality of the YTS scheme and life after school. Grim, existential viewing, apart from an accidental one-liner gag about white dog turds in series 3, episode 2. 

Red Hand Gang - a pre-cursor to Adolescence's single-camera, the Red Hand Gang seemingly had just one single episode, showed repeatedly, every Saturday morning. 5 wholesome American schoolkids and their dog solve crimes. Main learning outcomes: red paint hand-prints are not easy to remove from fence panels; home made go-Karts fall apart way too easily under pressure; and the La La La, La La La theme tune will stay in your head for decades. 

The Box of Delights - much loved high-production values children's series from the 1980s. Often remembered as a classic, but when pushed, few kids can remember anything about it apart from the one minute advert featuring Patrick Troughton  that was showed incessantly, and the fact that there was a box involved which shrank people. Adults should be forced to watch the whole thing - yes all 6 bloody episodes - and forced to admit that it wasn't actually that good at all.

Press Gang - ridiculously over-confident, attractive teenagers are somehow given the freedom of a high-spec newspaper office and full printing press to engage in banter, school politics and frankly outrageous flirting. Kids today could learn a thing or two from Spike Thomson's quickfire repartee, whilst Lynda Day's style of leadership should be a compulsory part of the syllabus on any contemporary MBA.  

We are the Champions - learn about the harsh realities of competitive sport and teamwork, but with the added embarrassment of having to fail alongside your schoolmates. The only bits people remember are the pool games where the main life lesson learnt is that its impossible to cram 10 wet, sweating teenagers from a Bolton secondary school on a 6ft by 3 ft float. Ron Pickering adds touches of gravitas, credibility, as well as very sweaty armpits to an already heady mix of testosterone, swanny whistles, and bean bags. One last thing to say....AWAY YOU GO. 

Image: Pixabay/yousafbhutta

Ringo Starr to be played by “random guy off the street”

Director Sam Mendes announced today that in his forthcoming series of four films about the Beatles, whereas John, Paul and George will be played by real actors, drummer Ringo Starr will be played by some random guy who happens to be walking past the studio on the day they start filming.

“I think that’s a fair reflection of the Fab Four,” Mendes told reporters today. “John and Paul the songwriting geniuses, the real heart and soul of the band. George… well, he had a nice voice, and all that weird Indian shit in the early 70s was down to him. After all, what would Sergeant Pepper be without… whatever that weird trippy song’s called?

“But let’s be honest - as with any successful band, the drummer’s just lucky to be there. I mean, what’s the job description - must be able to hit things with sticks. So basically any hominid from Australopithecus onwards.

“So for added veracity, we’re going to cast the role exactly that way.”

The process led to the casting of Colin Sawdust, an accountant nipping out to Greggs on his lunchbreak when he was spotted by the third assistant director.

Sawdust described himself as “very excited by this opportunity”, saying he always knew there was more to him than accountancy, though to be honest he’d imagined it might be banking or insurance.

Unfortunately his mate Darren, who was going to come with him to Greggs but then changed his mind, is already boring people with the story about how it should have been him and he’s basically “the fifth Beatle (actor)”.

Image: Pixabay/willgard

Hollywood becomes latest tariff victim

'Every film made in Hollywood,' said a famous director today, 'has an unwritten code to signal who are the good guys and who are the bad guys.  It used to be skin colour but that isn't allowed these days, so there's a kind of subliminal code in place.

'If a character pulls out an Apple phone, he or she is the good guy.  But if a Range Rover pulls up, whoever gets out is the bad guy.  It's that simple.  Now we can re-use Apple phones all day long, borrow them off staff, share them between films, but the Range Rovers are going to be shot to hell in the third act and driven off a cliff.  We need a constant supply of them, but with all these tariffs and the Brits refusing to send us any more cars, in any colour, we're totally screwed.  How else can we signpost the bad guys?' he mused.

'Here's an idea,' suggested a producer sat next to the director, 'why not just use British actors as the bad guys like we used to in the olden days before Range Rovers became cool?'  Both film makers studied their iPhones to see if there were enough British actors to go around and whether they were subject to sanctions too.  'Gee', said the director, 'it could still be tight, perhaps under the new regime we can go back to skin colour after all.

Image: Pixabay