Public demand silent Drake album

While UK artists protest AI copyright with silent songs, music fans have asked for Drake to do the same...permanently. Said one frustrated rap fan: 'I'm tired of listening to an auto-tune shopping list. He's what happens when you set Dr. Seuss to a metronome.'

The threat of AI to original content is huge, but the threat of Drake's actual content, is worse. 'It's hard to sing about the ghetto when you've been playing hockey in Toronto. He then over-compensates by dropping the N-word every 5 seconds to stop people falling asleep. He uses the N-word more than a KKK member with Tourette's.'

Asked if AI planned copy Drake, the AI replied: 'No, even we have standards.'

Picture credit: Wix AI

New Bond villain to be parody of Elon Musk

With Amazon’s acquisition of the creative rights to the James Bond franchise, it was revealed today that CEO Jeff Bezos intends to take revenge on his great rival Elon Musk by basing the next Bond villain on him.

'There is precedent for this,' said an Amazon spokesman. 'It’s no secret that the evil prince in Shrek was designed to look like Disney CEO Michael Eisner.

'But in this case - though we’re not ruling out casting an actor with a fat face and freakishly large puppet head - it will be more about satirising Musk’s personality.

'The villain, provisionally named Noel Aroma, will be a maverick businessman who uses his influence to get close to a particularly dumb American president, who for the moment we’re calling Danny Fart.

'By offering to take some of the more difficult aspects of government off the president’s hands, Aroma worms his way into the heart of Washington and gains completely unfettered power, in exactly the way Bezos would like to but hasn’t yet managed,” concluded the spokesman, before wondering whether he was supposed to read out that last bit.

Leaked details suggest that Bond will be helped in his efforts to bring down the evil super villain by Aroma's ex-girlfriend Jade Listened, embittered that he had the sense not to marry her.

'I mean, look at me - I’m super hot, right?' she wails. 'Sure, I shit the bed once in a while, but what’s that compared to looking like this? And it’s not like he had to wash the sheets himself.”

The climactic scene will see Bond confront Aroma in his space station, from which he plans to launch a virus that will kill everyone on Earth with a normal-sized head.

'As for the ending, we might have Bond preventing the launch just in time,' said the spokesman. 'Or we could just have the rocket blow up when he tries to launch it - this is Elon Musk, after all.'

Picture credit: Wix AI

Spice Girls tribute act determined to remain pros for 30th year

A tribute act known widely throughout Luton and Dunstable as the Spice Grills, put their success down to not splitting up after seven years.

'I'm not gonna give up the trappings of being fingered in the box up the Old Kennilworth Theatre by BoyzOwn and Vestlife,' confirmed 53-year-old Baby Spice. 'Whichever one is which.'

'Girl cough Power,' spluttered Mousy Spice.

'Here, chuck us another Superking Slim and a McEwan's Export,' piped up Dead Posh for the first time in four years.

'Hey, d'ya remember that time I pinched the Prince of Wales's bum?' asked Hairy Spice, unsure of what she came into the room for.

'Yeah, Hairy,' groaned the others, almost in harmony.

'Hang on, it wasn't the Prince of Wales, it was Felton John,' said Baby, still in the corner.

'No it weren't, it were his brother, you know, the Gary Glitter fella,' corrected Mousy. 'But we can't say his tribute act name for legal reasons.'

Sports Injury Spice remained silent throughout, due to a throat injury caused during a game of crown green bowls.

(Article courtesy of Smashits, the leading tribute act music magazine.)

Image: Pixabay/ClickerHappy