Seychelles Invests in Crabto Currency.

Winner: Dick Everyman

Runners-Up:

"Scientists discover arm-paralysing starfish also causes facial rictus." (Rob Falconer);

"Killer starfish claims another victim." (Lockjaw) / "Hero starfish saves another victim." (MrQ).

Blind Drunk Again.

Winner: FlashArry

Runners-Up:

"Execution: the civilised way." (Lockjaw);

"This full-bodied white is the perfect tipple for someone recovering from a cataract operation." (Sydalg).

Astonished Crowd see "Man Without a Hat."

Winner: APepper

Runners-Up:

"The Tyne Watchers Society celebrates the annual arrival of The Fog." (Sinnick);

""I dare you to give it a twang."" (DickEveryman)