Crab Arrested for Upskirting.

Winner: MrQ

Runners-Up:

"Flooding in Manchester fails to deter party girl." (Deskpilot);

"Miss Simmons’ geology field trips were always popular with the boys of Year 11." (DickEveryman)

"WHO’S READY TO PAAAAAART - exchange their house to pay for one drink?"

Winner: LostandFlounder

Runners-Up:

"Scotty has an absolute nightmare trying to work out who he's supposed to beam up." (MrQ);

"6 pints in and none could remember the semaphore they had so carefully rehearsed." (Sirlupus)

"Mummy, Daddy, Why Did You Make Me Ginger Like The Postman?"

Winner: Flash Arry

Runners-Up:

"Remember! A toddler is for life and not just for Christmas." (Lockjaw);

"Research shows that stand up comedians are getting younger." (Dick Everyman)