Warning Issued to Ramblers Following Spate of Attacks by Feral Toddlers.

Winner: Dick Everyman

Runners-Up:

""Your last dad joke was even cornea than the one before."" (Modelmaker);

"CBBC presents 'Equus'." (Flash Arry)

Commentator Holds Press Conference to Explain that he's been Silenced.

Winner: APepper

Runners-Up:

""FFS Ken, you do not need all this crap to WhatsApp your mum."" (Flash Arry);

"Bike users notice increasingly elaborate schemes to block their cycle path." (Deskpilot)

Team GB Accused of Leaving Their Olympic Accommodation in a Surreal Mess.

Winner: Deskpilot

Runners-Up:

"Knocked down at auction but still two deer." (Manchester Evening Poos);

"Colin thought it an incredibly complicated window display for what is essentially a hammer shop." (Flash Arry)