St. Peter Replaced by Intern as Cost of Maintaining Heaven Rockets.

Winner: AyesWideOpen

Runners-Up:

"So, you're sure that it'll be only fans I'm selling?" (Aidan Smyth);

"Look at me, look at me, scan your credit card details like so, keep looking at me…" (Sirlupus)

"Don't worry, it's not loaded. The armourer checked before she gave it to me."

Winner: Modelmaker

Runners-Up:

"Come on Mistress Rayner, hand over that council house tax or else." (Dick Everyman);

"Wrong, it was a gun in my pocket" (APepper)

"So, if you just sign here, we can whip Gran over to Dignitas on the next flight"

Winner: Lockjaw

Runners-Up:

The management consultants worked hard on getting the words ‘paradigm’ and ‘synergy’ into their client company’s new Mission Statement. (Midfield Diamond);

"...so you see, it's a conjunction, or joining, of the words 'man', and 'explain'." (Adrian Bamforth)