Why settle for preventing global warming when you can enjoy the far more exciting process of warming the globe, setting it on fire, and then putting it out again? With 4% of global warming caused by plane travel, firefighting aircraft prove that with enough aviation fuel, every environmental problem can become a growth sector.
Nature loves balance. For every tonne of carbon emitted, there’s a comforting splash of water somewhere over a burning hillside. Said one pilot. ‘It’s the environmental equivalent of smoking twenty cigarettes a day and then jogging to the chemist to buy nicotine patches. It’s great to have your cake and eat it, particularly if you want diabetes.’
Joined-up thinking is overrated when spectacularly circular thinking is available. With 2,700 dead in the recent heatwave, we have ensured every wildfire comes with a complimentary bonus wildfire somewhere down the line. Future historians will marvel that humanity invented both climate science and giant airborne kettles of jet fuel, then decided to hedge its bet-and burn hedgerows.
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