BBC to make low-cost docudrama about Trump Panorama

'It's what the BBC does best, making low-cost docudramas about real events,' said a BBC spokesman today.  'With worldwide syndication costs expected to bring in about $5 Billion and production costs estimated at about thirty quid then the Beeb breaks even if it loses, launches another radio station if it wins,' he added.  'Or can afford to keep paying Kuenssberg her salary for another year'.

The docudrama is expected to include real footage from the Trump statement it edited on Panorama intertwined with the broadcast version on Panorama (with subtitles alerting viewers the former was by a certifiable crackpot and the latter was edited by one, too).  Then there will be the dramatised courtroom segment intercut with the lawyers talking out of court, discussing strategy, legal points and which Ferrari the case will buy them (both sides).  A pair of mock juries will be shown the drama, each with a unique twist (one based on truth and the other based on Truth Social), with opposite results expected.

The BBC hope they can convince President Trump himself to appear in a cameo that will lend authenticity to his character while destroying his real-time court case.  Alternatively they hope the BBC lawyers can get him to appear in the real court case just to destroy his real-time court case.  Both options are preferred.

'There's a lot riding on this,' said the BBC spokesman, 'including my bonus.

Panorama are understood to be making a documentary about the docudrama about the Panorama show that spawned the docudrama.  They are also planning a Panorama about the furore expected about them making a documentary about the Panorama show that spawned the docudrama.  There might be a docudrama about that, too.   'Trust me, the BBC isn't going anywhere fast, ' said the spokesman.

Reform deny reaction to Nathan Gill sentencing will include interpretive dance

'Our response to the sentencing of Nathan Gill, who despite being the last leader of Reform in Wales and a prominent MEP for the Brexit Party and, previously, a prominent MEP for UKIP is provisionally - who?' said a frog-faced spokesleader of Reform who declined to be named.

'The suggestion that we will respond using interpretive dance or any other woke artform is insulting,' said the un-named leader of the parties that Nathan Gill represented at a high level whilst being apparently unknown to the present and prior leadership (same person). 

When indisputable evidence was presented that Gill was indeed well known to the current leadership when breaking the law parroting Russian propaganda for bribes that his colleagues parroted apparently for free the un-named leader suggested that if Gill got off with a slap on the wrist without dobbing in 'other people' then he might consider a tap dance.  If Gill took it on the chin the spokesman suggested the Reform leadership might be receptive to a gig on Strictly.  'What do they pay?' he asked, apparently finding time in his diary for an additional job.

Photo by Dmitry Ant on Unsplash

Trump announces retrospective action against small boats

The White House today confirmed that President Trump has signed an executive order authorising action against small boats of immigrants who are ruining the country's way of life.

'I built The Wall to keep out all the millions of immigrants who were coming in to our beautiful nation. And I took steps, giant steps, to expel those criminals who had arrived earlier under other presidencies who weren't as tough and strong as I have needed to be,' announced President Trump at a press conference.

'The next step is to use our naval, sea, marine and water-based forces to protect our coastline against the drug dealers, and evil, bad people trying to arrive through that route.

'The key to this is that anyone who has landed here, and I don't care how long ago, will also be sent back to the countries they came from. And these countries will pay the cost of the transportation. In fact, for anyone who has been here for a while, I will charge them interest on the wealth they have gathered at America's expense, before they leave. This is American money and property and it belongs right here in America.

'I am committed to expelling all these evil people who have simply expected to get America handed to them as soon as they stepped off their little boats. And we have been tracking them all along. I have already asked the Chief of Naval Operations and the Secretary of the Navy to prepare a list of known foreign immigrant-carrying boats so that we can start work straightaway, exiling these people and their families and descendants. And I have it right here.

'Say, Joe, can you pass me that report ...'

"OK. Here we go. Top of the list, this is where the clean-up begins. If you, or your people came on these boats, get packing now. The Nina, the Pinta, the Santa Maria

Photo by Peter Muscutt on Unsplash

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