'We absolutely must reflect every reader and books of all kinds,' said the extravagantly cardiganned Booker rep. 'And we are determined to make reading accessible for everyone, including seven-year-olds.
'We haven't long-listed this Postman Pat epic because of woke inclusion and diversity nonsense, it's because this book is what we call in the trade, a belter. Although we do obviously welcome the revelation that Pat's famous black and white cat is LGBTQ+. This book is on the list for merit alone and not as a cheap publicity stunt, although the media coverage is very welcome.
The character development, narrative arc and plot have echoes of Chandler, Ishiguro, Fleming (Alexander, not Ian), and Jacqueline Wilson. The book deals unflinchingly with dementia, memory loss, inappropriate behaviour, social media pile-ons, sexually transmitted disease, and the crisis in Gaza. It packs a lot in. The book has trigger warnings for cats, uniforms, rural isolation, suicidal thoughts, animal harm, unsafe driving, unrealistic expectations, privatisation, and inappropriate language (for 7-year-olds).
'It is, overall, a hard hitting, but charming, read. At risking of spoiling the denouement, I was very relieved that the missing letters were found in the end, and that they were delivered safely. This was, in no small part, due to the good work of a certain formerly-black but now rainbow-coloured cat.
'It is a relatively short read at 24 pages, and it is true that we don't usually admit books with so many pictures. But this is a meritocracy, so Go Pat!
'Anyway, I was asked about the book's chances of making it from the long list to the Booker short list. To be honest, I'm surprised you even asked.'
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