Captain Snort has been told to stop reduce exercises to save money, according to a Camberwick Green Parish Council source. It will continue to train soldiers preparing to be deployed or on deployments helping to organise the Chigley Biscuit Factory Dance. But Sergeant Major Grout, the second-in-command at the fort, who is not preparing for a specific deployment has been told to cut back on demonstrating their foot drill due to financial pressures.
It comes as the Prime Minister, formally the Mayor of Trumpton, faces pressure to increase spending on defence. Mr Troop the town clerk said the plans mean the soldiers will continue working in the community and responding to emergencies. But no longer doing what he called "nice to have training” like providing the local fire-fighting capability with their bright red mobile fire pump, which will be decommissioned.
This is bad news for the commander of Trumpton’s Fire Station Captain Flack who has already been forced to make Pugh, Pugh, Barney McGrew, and Cuthbert, leaving him with just Dibble, Grubb and two retained firefighters, Chippy Minton the carpenter and his apprentice son Nibs.
It is understood there are plans to replace the fort’s army truck, which has been described as “humpety bumpety” by a Defence spokesperson, with an Apache helicopter.
An Army spokesperson, Private Higgins, said: "It is a shame. People used to wave, to the soldiers brave. Who would sing and shout, as they lurched about”.
The prime minister replied: "I've made that commitment very clear, and I have done for a considerable period of time. We are investing in a new windmill for Windy Miller, and replacing Doctor Mopp with an AI chatbot”.
Image: co-pilot
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