Recap at start of TV crime drama bears no relation to plot at all

The 'Previously..' segment at the start of episode 4 of an ITV crime drama bears frustratingly little connection to what you've watched over the last 3 episodes, and is actually making you question your memory and sanity, it has been confirmed. 

The plot of 'Gone for Good' seems relatively straightforward and you were quite enjoying it - a slow-burning 6 parter, about a seemingly sociopathic doctor who is the prime suspect in the murder of his wife and the guy she was having an affair with.

Featuring a dogged female detective with problems of her own in her personal life, but who develops a begrudging respect for the beleaguered doctor and his wayward son, you have been wondering, like the detective - maybe he isn't guilty after all, despite what the rest of the CID team think, as well as the dryly humorous pathologist, and wacky IT specialist. 

Yet the recaps at the start of each episode are annoyingly missing out a lot of the key details about the story so far, and - hold on, that snippet of conversation they've just replayed was actually said in a different way in episode 3 wasn't it? And the doctor actually said 'you need a long rest, mate' to one of his patients in episode 1, not dubbed over the footage of him standing over his best mate in episode 2 after discovering him lying in a pool of blood with an axe in his head.    

And, haven't they just mixed up the order of things - that restaurant scene with the detective and the slightly odd GP's receptionist that she's known for years was in episode 2, and yet the brick being thrown through the police detective's window that they cut to straight after the restaurant in the recap - that was in the opening episode wasn't it?

And why the hell are they focusing for 30 seconds in this recap on some random guy that was only in episode 2 in the background scene digging a big hole in the woods in the dark of night and looking really pained, can they not just focus on things that are important to know! 

image from Google Gemini

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Farage incensed that he's running against a joke candidate

'Nigel wasn't surprised when Labour pulled out of the by-election,' said a Reform spokesman.

'The Tories chickening out was a no-brainer,' he said, 'because we hold the brains of the Tory party here,' said, admitting that Lee wasn't included.  Nor Suella, to be fair. 'And don't draw any conclusions about Honest Bob until after the NCA ivestigation,' he added.

'We thoroughly expected the Lib Dems to refuse to stand.  Nobody in Clacton wants to care about people, that's why they voted for Nigel.  And don't bother sending Zack around, this is hardly Brighton,' he ranted.

'But pitting a joke candidate up, that is beyond the pale,' he said, holding up a picture of Lawrence Fox.  'A bin, sure, bring it on.  Nigel will stub his cigar on him, but Fox?

'What a joke'.

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Champagne cans divide Wimbledon committee

The sound of champagne corks popping at Wimbledon can annoy the people trying to play the tennis. Watching tennis is thirsty work because of the heat, and the long games, and it's very sweaty when they close the roof. So it's understandable that spectators are keen to snag a couple of magnums of Moet, or Bolly. Or to sneak in a bottle of Waitrose ornery.

The All England Tennis Club is dealing with a number of complaints about popping corks from players. They say that it's hard enough to win the four million quid as it is, and that the sudden explosive noises definitely challenge the concentration. No-one like to work against something that sounds like gunshots. 'It can make you think that Trump must be in,' said one organically seeded player.

One possible solution has divided the committee. Revered champagne maker Mumm has offered to supply vintage champagne in cans, with a pull tab top, just like Bud Lite and Pepsi. These can be opened discreetly with a low-decibel high-frequency 'pffft!!!' sound that cannot be picked up and commented on by Claire Balding.

Half the members are aghast, and say that you might as well sell strawberry flavoured Opal Fruits instead of real strawberries. They contend that firing corks at the other debenture holders is quintessentially Wimbledon, and that a standard size bottle of 'poo is the minimum acceptable quantity, although a magnum (not the ice cream) is often preferred. All agree, however, that a Nebuchadnezzar is over the top and likely to cause injury if you drop it while holding it aloft and glugging from it.

The other members believe that, although it's obviously an abomination, you have to move with the times, and that the TikTak generation probably believe that canned champers is their god given right. They believe that selling official Wmbldn canned fizz is better than players sneaking it in, in return for backhanders.

Insiders say that, although further internal discussion is clearly required, canned champagne could be on sale at Wimbledon as early as 2039.

image from Google Gemini

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