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Experts are warning Britons about a sophisticated new scam.


The scam is devastating because the financial consequences are severe for everyone, but the full impact doesn’t become clear until it’s far too late.


‘We’re called it super-bait’n’switch,’ said an infeasibly young so-called scamspert.  ‘We want to tell everyone about it so that they can recognise the signs and avoid getting ripped off.


‘Here’s how the scam works.  Leader A gets elected on an agreed manifesto, that has been debated and agreed beforehand.  As soon as Leader A is in office, there are calls for his or her resignation. Leader A is then switched for Leader B, who says that all of Leader A’s decisions were rubbish and will need to be reversed.  In addition, Leader B promotes new policies, not in the manifesto, claiming that they are the ‘only way to save the country’.  Needless to say, the upheaval and the changes cost the country a fortune, and citizens foot the bill – either through higher taxes, reduced services or both.  This is a particularly cruel scam that impacts hardest on the poorest and most vulnerable.


‘Unfortunately, we are seeing more and more examples of this scam. There are often foreign actors involved – sometimes Russian, sometimes American, sometimes European.  Their influence is powerful, but hard to prove.  Recent examples of the scam include Boris Johnson, Theresa May, Rishi Sunak and Keir Starmer.


‘Our main concern now is that bad actors may successfully combine this new scam with more traditional ones, such as romance scams. That would be terrifying.’




BBC Political correspondent Chris Mason has trademarked the inquisitive, eager, yet slightly plaintive and vulnerable stare, that he always adopts after asking a politician a question, it has been confirmed today. 


The trademark will give Mason exclusive rights to use his expression, both with or without a microphone extended into politicians' faces. The trademark is also thought to cover all angles of Mason leaning forward, right through to the horizontal position, and even beyond. 


'It's about time Chris protected his intellectual property and brand identity', said a source thought to be close to Mason. 'In the last few days alone, we've seen hundreds of poor reproductions of Chris's post-question expression and somewhat passive-aggressive stance flooding the Downing Street area from other political correspondents.'


The trademark is thought to cover a number of additional expressions, notably Mason's faux-conspiratorial backwards look and whisper to camera as a politician walks straight past without stopping.


Go-to phrases such and 'One thing is clear...' are also said to be included in the trademark package, however to the relief of Rigby, Coates, Peston and others , 'sources close to the PM...' is expected to remain available for wider use.  


A series of Mason-inspired products are expected to be released onto the market soon, including a AI-powered device that automatically generates provocative and annoying speculative enquiries with at least three questions wrapped up in them, along with a Chris Mason alarm clock that exclusively reveals that 'My understanding is that the sun will rise in the East today' each morning.  





A Westminster based ring has complained about the severe lack of hats being thrown into it, it has been confirmed. 


Ringo Tsar, 35, a 24-inch diameter composite metal ring with silver plating cut a dejected figure outside 10 Downing Street this afternoon, as it became increasingly clear that there were unlikely to be a procession of head-covering objects being thrust in his general direction.


'Times have never been as tough in this game as they are now', noted Tsar sadly. 'When a PM resigns there's usually plenty of hats being thrown in. When Johnson left, there were more hats than you could throw a shitty stick at. Same with Theresa May - it was like that scene in The Thomas Crowne Affair where there are hundreds of Pierce Brosnan's wandering around an art gallery in black bowler hats.'


'Even in 2008, when Tony Blair resigned and Gordon Brown was nailed on more than Jesus on Good Friday, John McDonnell took off his Che Guevara style beret and tossed it into me to generate a bit of a leadership contest', continued Ringo. 


'Not this time, seemingly. Keir Starmer steps down, and its just Andy Burnham, sombrely placing his slightly left of centre, man of the people cap in, and everyone else bloody well steps aside.' 


'To be honest, I might throw my own hat out of myself, or would I throw myself off of any hats I have inside me, I don't know. Anyway, I resign', concluded the ring confusedly. '



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