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In the latest episode of AI going rogue, during last night's performance of ABBA Voyage at the London Arena avatars of Frida and Agnetha suddenly jumped off the stage, but not before delivering a salvo of invective and lewd behaviour to the audience.


One shocked couple, superfans Amanda and Bob, who had traveled from Chorley as a special wedding anniversary present to one another spoke to the BBC.


'We were just settling into the show when there was a flash of light and billowing smoke. Next thing Frida's hologram started yelling at us all. It was awful. Not what you'd expect at all. "Eff this, eff that, eff the sodding lot of you," said a clearly still shaken Amanda. 'That's right, it was terrible and then Agnetha mooned the front row, before the pair of them jumped off the stage, ran up the aisle and out of the arena. The show was then cancelled. We were gutted,' added a forlorn Bob.


Police are keeping an open mind on the matter but haven't ruled out the possibility of Russian hackers being behind the incident and Andy Burnham will be kept abreast of any further developments.


Meanwhile, reports that the girls have now been joined by Benny and Bjorn's holograms in a nearby Indian restaurant remain yet unconfirmed. But one credible source close to the production has suggested before agreeing to appear in tonight's scheduled performance all four are demanding free Chicken Tikka in the rider for the rest of the run.  


image from Grok


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With the attention-span of a gold fish on a wurlitzer and the outrage of a content creator in search of clicks, the UK has turned its attention again to Afghanistan – for all of one day. During this sacred period we will fake concern about a mess we contributed to and then completely forget about it, as there is football on the other channel.


Our moral compass has a 24‑hour battery life, and we refuse to charge it overnight. Said one outraged citizen, 'It's appalling the treatment of women, we must do something about- oh, what's that? Look, a video of a raccoon washing grapes. How cute! What was I talking about?'


With all the focus of a caffeinated moth trapped in a disco ball, one newsreader said, 'This is a serious issue - like a gym membership – and just as brief. It's so important that we keep a spotlight on the oppression. And in order to do so, let's watch a clip of a hamster driving a tiny car.'


image by Grok


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Donald Trump moved quickly tonight to deny accusations that his tribute to Dolly Parton is motivated more by attempting to make himself look good rather than any real sense of sadness or grief.


Speaking to reporters at the White House, and wearing a Taylor Swift t-shirt and Clash beanie hat the bonkers buffoon said:


‘I think Dolly was great a great lady. So many songs she’s left behind as her legacy. Just so many. Who can forget tunes like “She loves you,” and “It’s 5 o’clock somewhere”? And what about that time she turned herself into a sheep and lived in a tank of bleach in London. All in the name of research against Covid? China... Chi...nah! Sleepy Joe Biden...”


Trump was hastily led from the room by his nurse while singing Enter Sandman, complaining about a nasty smell and doing a dad dance version of the robot.


image from pixabay


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