The notorious El Niño, thought to be responsible for death and destruction all over the world, has finally been apprehended, law enforcement officials confirmed today.
However, lawyers for the infamous weather system have protested it’s being unfairly blamed for a whole slew of unrelated events that couldn’t possibly have a single cause.
”I mean, come on - flooding here, drought there, a hurricane somewhere else… how can these all be the fault of my client, when witnesses confirm it was in the eastern Pacific the whole time?
”Quite frankly - and it gives me no pleasure to say this - but you have to wonder whether these accusations would even be made if my client went by the English name “little boy” instead of its Spanish equivalent.”
However, this had the unfortunate side effect of reminding people that “little boy” was the codename of the Hiroshima bomb, inadvertently giving critics even more destruction they could blame on the hapless meteorological phenomenon.
Meanwhile politicians, ever on the lookout for a way to shift the blame for their own failures, were said to be looking seriously at the possibilities.
”It can take the rap for all the wildfires obviously, avoid awkward questions about forest management, brush clearance, maintenance of proper firebreaks etc… maybe also for the sewage in our rivers, since that’s caused by flooding… any chance we could also blame it for ordering PPE from incompetent idiots just because they’d given a fortune to the party?”
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