The Government has announced a radical overhaul of the legislative process under which laws will no longer require evidence, consultation or any consideration of unintended consequences, provided something sufficiently upsetting has happened in the previous 48 hours.
Under the new system, ministers will be able to introduce legislation immediately after saying: “As a father, I was horrified.”
“This is 2026,” said a Home Office spokesman. “The public simply doesn’t have time to wait for facts. When something terrible happens, people want to know that the Government has immediately made something else illegal.”
The new procedure, known as Emotion-Based Legislation, will begin with a photograph of the victim, followed by interviews with grieving relatives and a television presenter asking a minister: “Surely something has to be done?”
Ministers insist the reforms will make Britain more responsive.
“For too long we have allowed lawyers, experts and people who have actually read the proposed legislation to obstruct the democratic process,” said the Justice Secretary. “The important question is not whether a law is necessary, proportionate or enforceable. It is whether you can look that family in the eye and tell them you oppose it.”
Civil liberties groups expressed concern that laws made in the immediate aftermath of shocking events have historically tended to be badly drafted, excessively broad and difficult to repeal.
Their comments were condemned as “insensitive at this time”.
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