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They've only gone and done it again, despite the court order. The editorial team at NewsBiscuit have compiled another anthology of stories, one-liners and cartoons covering an otherwise quiet twelve-month period in the UK and outside world with fake news, news which should have been fake and sometimes just something that feels funny. The last bit was aimed at the last remaining GP in UK, just in case they're working today. The stories might make you laugh, they might make you cry, but at least they haven't crashed the economy - yet. We have Prime Ministers for that!
Over 1000 short stories and more than 200 headlines culled from the daily output from September 2021 through to the end of August 2022, all put together in a cynical ploy to fund the UK's oldest and best fake news website - NewsBiscuit.com. NewsBiscuit exists to provide a writing outlet for hundreds of established and aspirational comedy writers and to post a daily dose of humour designed to distract tens of thousands of people from working, restoring the economy or otherwise making a useful contribution to society - 365 days a year, most years (we stretch to 366 days a year now and then for reasons we haven't quite understood).
Earth to be Recycled makes a great gift for friends and for yourself
Experts are warning that Britain is facing a ‘law and order freefall.’ Paul, 12, Professor of Behavioural Science at the University of Westward Ho! has cautioned his local MP that Armageddon may also follow suit.
‘The problem is that we have lived with shifting sands for too long,’ he explained. ‘Nobody knows where they stand anymore. This leads to a growing feeling of “sod it. I’ll just do what I want.” Before you know it, McDonalds has run out of ketchup, Freddos have gone up to £8.49 and the Four Horsemen are competing at the Horse of the Year Show.'
Like most people in Britain, Paul blames the Government. He also believes that they have melted the distinction between right and wrong to the point that it’s just a runny marmitey-goo of lawlessness. ‘One day we are only allowed to meet one person in another bubble and the next it’s full wine and cheese with people you don’t want to know. One day the Foreign Secretary is encouraging us to take up arms against tyranny and join a foreign legion; the next, holding a peaceful vigil gets you violently arrested. There is just no logic to it.’
Paul’s sentiments are echoed right across the country. Michael from Bideford is reeling from a letter received from his daughter’s school. ‘Apparently, they are not allowed to take in chainsaws anymore, but fruit is somehow OK. We just don’t know whether we are coming or going. It’s the End of Days.’
Author: helenrushworth
Previously published 28 March 2022
Image: TheDigitalArtist | Pixabay
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