top of page


In a surprise tactical change, the Russian army has withdrawn from Ukraine and encircled Hogwarts school, claiming the liberation of a fictional location was their intent all along. 'You can shove your sanctions,' suggested a Russian spokesman, 'once we force Harry Potter to surrender then we will be all powerful.' The UK government has extended sanctions to include all J K Rowling books, but noted that as Hogwarts isn't in NATO it can't intervene, even in literature. 'We might provide a poem or two,' suggested a spokesman from the MoD.


First published 29 March 2022




If you enjoyed this archive item, why not buy thousands of archive stories found in our eBooks, paperbacks and hardbacks?














bottom of page