Deskpilot has cleared the board once again and is a justified WOTM. Eppursimuouve has come up a credible second and I've pitched up an incredible third. Lots of good work, subs, headlines etc here as usual.
Also as usual the full list of links are below the leaderboard, as is this month's well-earned cartoon of the month and the full list of tickers.
Front Page, News in Brief and Features
apepper
billclay
Chipchase
Deskpilot
eppursimuove
Granger
Jack the Quipper
James_Doc
jeremynh
McDabble
Modelmaker
Newsbiscuit Editorial Team
PaulD
StevB
Chat group of 5-year-olds manage to use Signal app without giving away state secrets to entire world
Stewartbarclay
Sully
Sydalg
tacitus
thatwasbeast
Throngsman
Titus
Tonymc
Wrenfoe
Cartoon of the month goes to Lockjaw with Vitali Klitschko to accompany Zelensky on next visit to the White House
Headlines
Adrian Bamforth
Prison admits escaped convict asked for packed lunch
US moves to make defence meetings an 0898 number
apepper
Astonishment as bunch of idiots turn out to be incompetent
Fire service spends 80% of budget parking at Heathrow
bigbadbob
Texans not concerned by rising prices of avocados
US Govt has a tantrump
Water company renowned for leaks, to be bailed out
Woolly Mammoth to be recreated using DNA from Guy Martin’s sideburns
currymuncher
Tesla rebranded the "Peoples Car" in an attempt to revive sales
Deskpilot
Baker sacked for putting her hair in a bun
Birmingham council chamber 'full of rats'
Brazil sets out a new road to net zero
Charles feigns illness to avoid trip to Birmingham
Cheese eating, surrender monkey FREELOADERS
Excited dress maker is frilled to bits
Expert historian is a past master
Government announces compulsory sterilisation for the jobless
Government restores political interference to the NHS
I wasn't expecting the AA man - he gave me a start
Incompetent abseiler hits rock bottom
Inquiry into losing Eurovision entry starts early this year
JD Vance proves himself as Trump's number two
Lazy Twix thief didn't lift a finger
Liz Truss denies she is advising Trump
Lost man who ate tortoises for 95 days expected to make slow recovery
Noise abatement officer makes whistle-stop tour
Nothing says 'I forgot' like petrol station flowers
Origami disaster - events still unfolding
Overworked fireman burn out
Secret plan to save Thames Water is leaked
Solong captain injured in court after collision with dock
Top Republicans worried that they used naff emojis
US partial ceasefire: Ukraine stops shooting, Russia doesn't
Yorkshire iron age hoard turns out to be fly-tipping
Docholiday
Struggling Door Bell company asks staff to push harder
dominic_mcg
Part time assassin has time to kill
Tesla spinning in his grave... and generating electricity
eppursimuove
Future White House summits to be chaired by Jerry Springer
Granger
Don v Volod: Spot the Dictator
Musk looking for more money to burn
hmjolly
Andrew Tate two-thirds semen
Trump insists he’d have got Greenland a full solar eclipse
Trump third term to save world from JD Vance
ian searle
Alexander Armstrong denies being 'out of touch', in an interview with his 'Sous Chef'
Donatella steps down as Versace director to spend more time with the other Mutant Ninja Turtles
Please remember to put your mother forward an hour on Sunday Morning
Trump and Vance win all the awards at 'The Gits
Trump claims he should have won all the Oscars
US objects as Canada places tariffs on mass shootings
Jim Skinz
Boris Johnson marks fifth anniversary of Covid with cheese and wine party
I'm officially not fishy, says Sturgeon
Joe
Chappel Roan is not a town in Yorkshire, Dad
Etch A Sketch company to undergo 'shake up'
Navy Submariners under a lot of pressure
Lockjaw
Bankrupted rag merchant's life is in tatters
Misogynists cut Mothers' Day to 23 hours
mcdabble
Bookies open betting on how long before most Americans get it
Disinformation to be Replaced by Datinformation
Everyone believes Rayner when she says working class don't want handouts
New version of children's song goes viral: 'The wheels on the bus are falling off...'
'Occupy Greenland' cry goes up in EU
Putin call was wrong number, says Trump
Putin: I will accept the cease-fire deal if I can have a magic pony
Treasury release "Fudget"
Trump declares himself the winner of the Russia-Ukraine conflict
Trump rethinks wall plan as CIA says Mexicans have ladders
Unstable stone on wall isn't coping
Modelmaker
Bed-blocker Pope to be discharged from hospital
Europe’s first Mars Rover to be built by Toyota in Bourneville factory
M1 closed after lorry carrying shedloads of sheds, sheds load of sheds
Yanks argue whether their chicken or egg shortage came first
MrQ
Chicken on a bike pure poultry in motion
Long jumper breaks world record with 3 metre sleeves
Man who can't find his glasses suspects Russian involvement
Man with fear of bats will never play cricket again
Russia keen on 'big piece' deal
Shock headline doesn't feature Trump
Tennis to start operating on a first come first serve basis
The Bog Standard wins toilet newspaper of the year
rogerg
City of culture now awash with yoghurt
Thames Water to be liquidated
Weaver says decades at the loom have warped him
ron caweleyoni
JFK assassination: Trump blames Biden
Musk spotted in gents' outfitters looking at nice Herringbone 2 piece suit
Rowly
Putin Threatens that new attacks could be in the pipeline
SteveB
Dead sea cow recognised hippoposthumously
Guest who had after dinner drinks spilled on him 'deported'
Kindly little old lady in hallway might be Canadian Chief of Defence
Referees taking out unprecedented number of yellow cards on World Book Day
Russian spies in Great Yarmouth? - Norfolk enchants
stewartbarclay
Donald Trump has entered the chat... bomb emoji, smiley face emoji
The Squire
Stena Immaculate becoming increasingly less representative of its name
Titus
Heathrow had to close because of no power to the duty-free shops
Just-Stop-Oil succeeds, by re-defining 'victory'
'Zelenskyy spilled my pint' claims Putin
tonymc
New Regulator for carpet and Flooring Industry announced: Offcuts
Reform UK MPs announce their planned Jackson 5 tribute act now on hold
Starmer reveals President Zelensky insisted, Big hug but No tongues
Trump promises Greenlanders their own Reservations and cheap liquor
Trump's speech writer forced to quit as he's starting big school
UK Goats would vote for a Nanny State
UK Growth: We need to export but not to foreigners says Tory Shadow Chancellor
VE day, 80 years of peace if you don't count Korea, Falklands, Iraq, Afghanistan, Ireland