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Following Philip Scofield’s decision to take part in a reality show, in which we watch him struggle to survive on a desert island, there are reports that a number of other alleged dodgy guys have followed suit.


So far Huw Edwards, Harvey Weinstein, Bill Cosby, R Kelly and Gary Glitter (real name Paul Gadd) have signed up to take part in a similar show, with the aim of rehabilitating their reputations with the public, according to a TV insider.


However, it seems none of them were informed that the others would be present, or that the supply ship wouldn’t be returning after dropping them off on the remote island.


”It’s a sort of creepy Lord of the Flies,” said the programme maker Oliver Matcha. “We feel the public will enjoy seeing these vile men turning on each other in panic, as their supplies dwindle and they face the very real prospect of starvation. I only wish Savile, Harris, Epstein and al Fayed could be there too.


“It’s a bit dark for a weekday evening show, I grant you. To be honest, I think Channel 4 only said yes because they were thinking of Lord of the Rings. But if they’re expecting hobbits, dwarves and magic rings, they’ll be disappointed.


”But the rest of us will get to enjoy the likes of Roman Polanski and Jonathan King scratching each other’s eyes out over half a rotten mango.”


image from pixabay

In 2010 a crack exam-grade study group was sent to school for a crime they didn't commit. These classmates promptly escaped from a maximum security library to the London underground. Today, still wanted by hiring executives, they survive as underpaid contract workers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire...



...the A*-Team.


Do you have A* grades at A-level which are far superior to all A grades achieved by A-level students prior to 2010?


Can you turn a broken down combine harvester into a cabbage throwing machine while locked in a flimsy shed during a montage?


While spraying automatic machine gun fire at 600 rounds per minute, can you fail to hit a single baddie?


And do you want to own your own home, providing it's a 1983 GMC van with a cool stripe and a lovely paint job that you live in with three others?


If the answer is yes, then loiter by the vegan falafel stand at 3pm tomorrow and look out for someone badly disguised.


Your contact's coded phrase will be: 'I love it when a flan comes together.'


image from pixabay

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