Wall's offer to sponsor next Labour Party conference

.

Starmer refuses to back down from speech gaffe and forms Sausage Rescue Force

After calling for the return of sausages held captive in Gaza, the Labour leader has doubled down and formed a rapid response meat tube recovery task force. To be based in Cumberland or Lincolnshire this team will be formed from well-seasoned veterans, probably thyme and sage.

They will be Tesco’s Finest, this is not just a Sausage Rescue Force, this is an….well anyway. This group will be an Asda Extra Special Air Fryer Service and can be ready in 15 minutes under a medium grill.

They will only be deployed under a wurst case scenario, going in with flash bangers and mashing the enemy.

image from pixabay

All GCSE students to get £20k accommodation grant

.