top of page
Search
A man whose entire life revolves around his football club has expanded his sporting knowledge to include Freestyle BMX, having watched coverage of the Olympic games on television. Gerald Johnson, who didn't miss a single Brighton & Hove Albion game in the 2023/2024 season, now cannot stop talking about Tailwhips, 540s and Nac-Nacs, despite not even realising Freestyle BMX was a so-called sport until earlier this week.
'I was so bored but then I watched these cool kids messing about on tiny little bikes as if they were down the local skate park and I was transfixed by their Bar Spins and Cross-ups', explained Mr Johnson. 'Freestyle BMX has really helped me through the interminable weeks between the end of the Euros and the start of the new football season.'
Gerald has also embraced the coverage of the Olympic judo, the clay pigeon shooting and even the posh people on dancing horses, or dressage as he now calls it, having been educated in the finer points of the event by the posh people commentating on it for the BBC. According to Gerald, all Olympic sports are more entertaining than cricket, but a Superman Seat Grab over the volcano in Freestyle BMX is almost as exciting as a 90th minute winner in the Champions League.
However, it is feared that this obsession with Freestyle BMX may not last beyond the medal ceremonies. Mr Johnson is apparently preparing a cardboard cut-out covered with aluminium foil in the shape of the FA Cup to take to Wincanton Town versus Blackfield & Langley in Saturday's extra preliminary round of the competition. And if Wincanton go 1-0 up, he is expected to join in with the shouts of 'Wem-ber-lee'.
image from pixabay
bottom of page