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Proclaimers hurt by lack of interest in reunion tour

Craig and Charlie Reid, the twin brothers who make up novelty pop/folk group The Proclaimers, say they’re frankly depressed by the lack of interest in their reunion tour.

'What more can we do?' asked Craig, or possibly Charlie. 'We havenae released an album since 2022, so that’s kind of like the band splitting up… sort of … and now we’re getting back together and going on tour. Why aren’t people selling their kidneys to get tickets? Though to be honest, there’s no need, they’re really quite reasonably priced…'

'That’s right,” agreed Charlie, or possibly Craig. “And we’re touring everywhere - Dundee, Ullapool, the Isle of Muck - so it’s nae like people would have to travel far.'

The brothers consulted Edinburgh-based PR consultancy Bemused Kumquat, who suggested that perhaps if their lifestyles were a bit more rock’n’roll. “Like if you two had a massive falling out, and it all got very ugly and public… any chance of that?”

The two brothers looked at each other uncertainly, until one of them said, 'There was that time we were watching telly and I finished a packet of Tunnock’s Tea Cakes without asking him if he wanted the last one. That created a pretty tense atmosphere, I can tell you. He didnae speak to me for a while. Though to be honest, I think he was engrossed in ‘Take The High Road’.'

Photo by Rob Laughter on Unsplash

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