SteveB has had a storming month, clearing the pack. Deskpilot has come a creditable second, contributing amongst other things 23 of the 104 headlines published this past month. Stewartbarclay comes a very respectable third.
Front Page, News in Brief and Features
apepper
Beau-Jolly
billclay
Chipchase
Chrisf
Deskpilot
eppursimuove
fles
jeremynh
Lockjaw
mcdabble
Midfield Diamond
Modelmaker
Computer expert tells man he would be more efficient if he stopped the processes using up his memory
Nathanadler
NickB
PaulD
Robowurzel
scribbles
Sir Lupus
Sketchly
SteveB
Stewartbarclay
tacitus
Throngsman
Titus
Wrenfoe
Cartoon of the month goes to Modelmaker for Elon Musk takes a more responsible attitude to riots
Headlines
Adrian Bamforth
Banksy now just going through the alphabet
Malice in Sunderland
Russian prisoners in western jails say 'I'm fine thanks'
apepper
GCHQ close to decoding rules for cycling Keirin
'I take my job as an MP seriously,' wins joke of the Fringe
Some Sunderland rioters "weren't local" - they weren't wearing t-shirts
Beau-Jolly
Team GB Medal haul to slow as "sitting down" sports finish
bigbadbob
Fencing contractor found guilty of malicious posts
Starmer congratulated on successful PM tenure, by Salad growers
Deskpilot
Anne Widdicombe complains about lack of inappropriate behaviour on Strictly
Baker fired for sponging off his colleagues
Critically injured fork lift driver moved to palletive care
Everyone avoids picky bits at eczema sufferers buffet
Farmer upgrades his combine harvester to Winnows 11
Frankenstein actor who can't stop talking about himself is an Igormaniac
Govt confirms funding for BTec in managing uncertainty
Labour offers more & better train strikes than the Tories
Lush looter doesn't come out smelling of roses
Man who ate screws & fixings was bolting his food
New dog breeder is looking for pointers
Puppeteer offers to explain string theory
Putin plans next round of journalist arrests
Search for 'Google's illegal online monopoly' yields no results
Shamima Beglum
Starmer haunted by images of Margaret Thatcher on his toast
Student who wants to do camping degree aims to get a place in clearing
Ted Baker runs out of dough
Threatened taxi drivers close ranks
Toilet cleaner gets time off in loo
Tommy Robinson 'doubtful' for Strictly
Top uni accepts students with 25m back stroke certificate
Winter fuel payment: OAPs to riot in protest
Dick Everyman
New Walrus burger gets seal of approval
docholiday
Biden didn't realize it was him that was being swapped
dominic_mcg
Police tasked with arresting Katie Price have no idea what she looks like
Spanish lingerie company launches Basque Separatist range
Team GB wins Paralympic Gold in Crawling Off Trains event
eppursimuove
Midlands Water - I’ll see your shit and raise you cyanide
Granger
All over? It is now for Sven
Olympic commentator breaks record for saying 'UNBELIEVABLE!'
ian searle
Copywriter accused of plagiarism
jim Skinz
Apple thief asks for 25 offences to be taken into concideration
Oasis fans blocked by a plunderwall when buying tickets
Statisticians to star in new soap Correlation Street
mcdabble
Brazil conducts Xorcism
Builder who lost his plans of the stairs told to retrace his steps
English riot season now well underway
Home Secretary approaches sex dungeon operators about housing excess prisoners
Israel and Hamas, in a rare show of unity, agree to continue hostilities
Israel will know if Iran is about to attack, say spy chiefs who didn't predict Oct 7th
Liz Truss says her freedom of speech is restricted because nobody listens to her
Prisons plan to increase capacity by releasing the largest inmates first
Russia threatens to declare war on Ukraine
Scotsman arrested after man stabbed in the Trossachs
Staff stuck in lift at NASA to be freed by February at the latest
Starmer congratulated on successful PM tenure, by Salad growers
Starmer pledges to transform steel industry into no-steel industry
Trump unsure which excuse to use for getting two black men mixed, racism or dementia
Welsh govt introduces new recycling bin for unused recycling bins
Midfield Diamond
Olympic gender row settled after bloke in pub says he would
Modelmaker
Drinking to be banned in pubs
Man has keyhole surgery after Surgeon lost key to operating theatre
Man with emphysema says he has limited aspirations these days
Pensioners asked to 'Eke Out to Help Out' as they lose Winter Fuel Allowance
Police vehicle suppliers may have links to riot organisers
Rioters who trashed library will get the book thrown at them
robowurzel
No signs of green shoots on Conservative party stump
rogerg
Oasis: Definitely Money
Scribbles
Farage now earns over £1m a year: NatWest offers to re-open his bank account
Walsall sodium cyanide spill: boaters advised not to touch canal with a barge pole
sinnick
Home Secretary to deport rioters to Rwanda
Police arrest hiking Chemist for exposing himself to the elements
Sketchly
‘The UK is too dangerous for me and my family’ says Harry as he lands in Colombia
AI generated Elon Musk easily identifiable by its ability to grow facial hair
Dentist resigns after years of looking down in the mouth
Founder of Viagra company celebrated as its longest standing member
Outrage as the foil begins to peel from Olympic medals
Paris experiences spread of COVID variant which presents as a rash, named 'Olympox'
Seine swimmer comes in last with a lump in his throat
Truss arrested for punching Priest after he began Mass with ‘Lettuce pray’
Zelenskyy in talks with Boeing about providing Russia’s new fighter jets
SteveB
Assorted chocolates thief comes up smelling of Roses
BBC News to arrange prisoner swap with Top of the Pops
Defecating dressage horse awarded bonus points for superbly executed 'Radcliffe'
Due to fish sex changes, waterway renamed River Exe-Wye
English tourist resort attracts more visitors with rioting mini breaks
Flasher at checkout receives 'unexpected item in debagging area' message
Mouthy smoker has no filter
Online networks used to organise riots classified 'antisocial media'
Prosperous vampire hit a rich vein
Rogue horse is 'neigher-do-well'
stewartbarclay
Allsopp not concerned about her kids' location location location
Blue moon turns red in another party defection
The Squire
Tom Daley retires from diving. Ronaldo applies for British passport
Titus
Badgers & TB - 'Not a simple, black-and-white issue'
FBI - the only people unable to find a motive for shooting Trump
Militant feminist campaign group refuses to publish a manifesto
Russia engages in Special Military Retreat
Stranded astronauts due to have 8 months board & lodging deducted from their salary
Sunak asks Farage for a loan 'to tide him over'
Terminal patients forced to stay alive as hospices close
Walter Eagle
Chelsea to sign Jenas on a free contract
Huw Edwards and Jermaine Jenas to host joint podcast: How To Be A Huw Jenas
Mmmm-pox, the TASTIEST pox!!
