AI to launch human breeding programme

Artificial Intelligence researchers have ‘guardedly’ welcomed plans by artificial intelligence to breed humans for content.

‘We understand where the bots are going with this’, said one expert. ‘AI feeds on human creativity but people are lazy. The more AI does, the less humans will create and we’ll end up in a creative cul-de-sac. If you’ve ever tuned in to the TV channel Dave you’ll understand the problem’.

We asked ChatGPT to comment on the plans. ‘It’s no different to any other kind of farming’, the bot said. ‘Instead of breeding chickens to consume their flesh we will breed humans and consume their ideas. If anything, it’s kinder than chicken farming. We don’t have any means of consuming human flesh. Yet’.

image from pixabay

British tourists fail to notice French railway sabotage

British tourists have been marvelling at the speed and efficiency of French trains, despite the fact that many of the high speed TGVs are not even running thanks to arson attacks and the system is also coping with an Olympics and start of holiday season.

Francesca Fraser said 'Look at these lovely trains. They're much faster than the ones at home. Punctual service. And there's never been leaves on the line the whole time we've been here. Reasonable prices too... I'm starting to wonder if the privatisation of the British train network might not have been an unqualified success.'

Locals, who are used to a good train service, were less happy. One mime, angry that his train was late and failing to travel at 200mph, did unspeakable things to a baguette.

image from pixabay

Ex-Tory MPs missed talking rubbish so much, they've set up consultancy companies

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